A Wedding at the Vinoy

A few weeks back I had the pleasure of attending a wedding at one of Tampa Bay's palaces - the Vinoy Hotel in downtown St. Petersburg. I had remembered driving past this place when I was a kid and my parents were taking us to the Pier. I had fond memories of a dilapidated mansion looking structure that sparked memories of the Haunted Mansion in Magic Kingdom. (The Vinoy closed in the early 70's and did not reopen until the early 90's). I will have to say that I was not spooked in the least by the structure I saw recently. It is a breathtaking hotel with surprises around every corner like the miniature front drive that must have been made for those Shriner cars since the valets could hardly get two cars abreast or more than 5 cars within a reasonable distance to the front stairs. I have determined that the Vinoy is now my second favorite hotel in the Tampa Bay area - runner-up to the Belleview Biltmore, if it is even still there. (The Belleview always reminds me of a hotel where the Shining could've taken place - yeah, I got some weird horror/hotel thing going on). And I won't even bring the Don into the conversation. I was lucky enough to get a great room overlooking the Tea Garden - what a nice little view - fountain, little plaza, manicured lawn but no Tea plants. Oh well. I informed my sister-in-law, the bride, that I would view the nuptials from my room being that the Tea Garden is where she was having her wedding the following day and since I had a perfect view and I could stay in air conditioned comfort (it was lining up to be a smotheringly hot weekend). All I can say is that a bride should not swear at her brother-in-law like that in front of family and friends and leave it at that.

After the check-in and my dressing-down, we all hit the lobby bar - a nice little place with easy access to the veranda, a good selection of everything and a T.V. to stare at and ignore relatives. My newly turned 6 year old boy immediately bellied up to the bar, ordered an apple juice and starting hitting-on the closest female. It was really quite amazing and a source of pride as he place his hand on her leg and shooed others away who were trying to talk to her/interrupt him including his aunt (the bride) and the lady's husband (the best man). Ahh, my boy. The groom was starting to feel the heat. Normally, a quite jovial lad, the groom had grown a little quiet and distracted. I felt his unease as he looked around time to time to figure out who to talk to next or was it to plan his daring escape? But then I quickly forgot about it as I stared at the TV.

Of course the wifey forgot something of monumental importance (the ring bearer pillow that actually bore the initials of the previous wedding we had attended - the bride just wanted the ringbearer to carry something) at the house that necessitated my returning to our humble abode. She waited until the skies opened up into what can only be described as nature trying to beat the trees into the ground with water and until the hour was struck 10pm (our home is a least an hour's ride away). I hefted these husbandly duties upon my shoulders with ease. With such ease that wifey decided she had not nearly burden me enough and asked me to call the wedding planner with a few last minute details. With all this done around midnight, I collapsed into bed with dreams of centerpieces running through my head.

The following day was the blessed event. After stepping outside for a brief moment, I quickly started an ancient tribal rain dance being that it must have been about 800 degrees outside and I knew there was a back-up venue inside in the sweet, sweet AC. The rain god must have known I was not from this tribe and made it even hotter instead of wetter or maybe I messed up a phrase or two. I then turned to my Christian god for relief but alas he had intentions of making us stronger or maybe it was taking his name in vain during the prayer. In any case I started pounding Gatorade like a 300 pound lineman during training camp in Arizona. Everyone was flurrying around getting ready - I lost my daughter and wife for about 4 hours in this "getting ready" charade. Remarkably, everything seemed to be going well. With the nuptials about to start, I lined up my daughter and son and found my seat to await the procession. The heat was nearly unbearable. The officiator/cousin whispered in my ear - "I like the choice of a dark colored shirt in this heat". He was referring to the obvious sweat stains that would soon appear - bastard. From there the wedding proceeded without fault and even gardener a few laughs here and there. Everyone was ready for the relief of the inside reception, though.

We all left the hotel for the Sunset Ballroom on Snell Island. It is part of the Vinoy and what a beautiful room it was. Ornate archways, a little stage, a room for the kiddies and an upstairs men's lounge where if one was so inclined he could watch the Florida/LSU game on one of their TVs - Myself and some of the other real men were so inclined. Imagine everyone's shock and horror when we realized we were having cocktails outside until the wedding party was done with pictures. Ok, only I was horrified - everyone else was too enthralled with the non-cash bar to notice gallons of sweat pouring from their bodies. The Wedding Party actually made their way to the party and we all went inside. The bride and groom entered to great fanfare and groom spoke a few pleasant words - the party was started. Well, almost. The lovely matron of honor - this what they call you when your too old to be a "maid"- had to give her toast. The Matron (my wife) had worried endlessly for weeks about the speech and was extremely nervous. I knew she would do well. She gave some embarrassing anecdotes about the bride and took some hilarious jabs at the groom before bringing down the house with a tearful conclusion about how proud she was of her little sister. Literally there was not a dry eye in the room - men and women alike were weeping like 5 year olds when their parents throw out their favorite toy. Unfortunately, the groomsman had to follow with a toast of his own. He did a good job. He smartly incorporated the mother-of-the-bride and spoke a few lines in Spanish (half of the reception party was Spanish) and got a rousing ovation for the task.

The rest of the night was filled with dancing, yelling and drinking with the last one fueling the first two for the "gringos". Some people made fools of themselves and the others went beyond that. All in all general merriment was had by all and the wedding was a success. Here's to the marriage being as successful. Cheers.