A Whole New World

-Time Magazine, 3 July 1995.

VIRTUALITY

In the late 1960s,the Defence Advanced Research Project Agency (DARPA) in the US developed ARPANET for linking university networks with military ones. On January 1, 1983, it was adopted by the US Department of Defence as their protocol. That day is considered by many as the "Birthday" of the Internet. This super network of computers has since grown at a frantic pace, revolutionizing our lives in ways that have left all visionaries dumbfounded. By 2003, the number of Internet users is expected to hit 350 million - its growth has "slowed" down, and the size is to double every 16 months.

The Internet brings together people of diverse cultures, interests and geographic locations - providing a platform for interaction, commerce, exchange of information, ideas, thoughts, feelings, emotions and in fact everything under the sun. With such a penetrative and overwhelming presence, it is but natural that virtuality is now an integral part of our lives.

On the basis of the kind of interaction involved, Virtual relationships can be broadly classified into formal and informal relationships. All walks of life are in the process of being computerized. Institutions and Organizations are turning to IT to gain the differentiating edge. E-commerce dominates the class of formal virtual relationships. In this fiercely competitive atmosphere, it would be absurd to think that these relationships focus on anything other than organizational interests. Hence we would exclude formal relationships from our discussion which mainly pertains to the emotional impact and moral implications of virtual relationships. Informal relationships can be considered as a 3 tier hierarchy. One could start up as a casual acquaintance. With time and familiarity, this graduates to a platonic friendship, which may or may not become an emotional involvement depending on the feelings on both sides. Here the important aspect is the emphasis given by each one to virtuality.

TELL ME WHY?

Virtuality is unchartered territory. It has the charm of the hidden - it is the mystery medium and people are curious about its utility in sating their needs. One could get into a relationship "just for kicks" - to try out something new. Being on the net, or rather "into it", is the IN thing today - "it's different, it's cool and it's with the times". It also provides an avenue for wish fulfillment i.e., one has the chance to live out one's own fantasies, do things that one could never do in real life and pretend to be what one actually aspires to be. Some others opt for virtuality as a change from real life because it serves as an escape hatchet from one's own complexes. The Web gives us a wider reach, eliminating the distance barrier and shrinking the world into a global village. At the click of a mouse, you can find someone who shares your interests. The web also serves to eliminate boredom and relationships on the net can be a pastime. These relationships give you the much needed flexibility - to change your image as and when you wish to. Desperation and failure in real life can also drive one to a virtual relationship.

HOW DEEP IS YOUR LOVE?

Public opinion is almost evenly divided in this respect. The extent of emotional attachment actually depends on the people involved in the relationship. There are some who find virtual contact rich and stimulating while others find these interactions limiting and stilted, lacking something crucial. These differences stem out of the difference in perceptions. Physical distance matters to most, except a select few whose faith transcends location coordinates. Some people hold the view that if there are no lies involved, and the relationship exists in an atmosphere of trust, then one shouldn't have any qualms about getting serious. Others argue that although the medium may be virtual, the people on either end are actually 100% real, and hence no distinction should be made between virtual and real life. Yet another view makes virtuality out to be superior - considering the fact that when you're online, you learn to admire a person for his/her inner traits rather than appearance or other superficial aspects of personality. On the other hand, people are apprehensive because they can never know if the person at the other end is in it just for fun or curiosity. Many feel that it is easier to be taken for a ride in virtual life. It is hard to trust people when all you can see is text - for all you know, they might be lying through their hat. While real life is definitely a superior mode of communication providing warmth and security - with many more senses at work, virtual relationships serve to diversify one's circle of friends and eliminate the social hierarchy based on superficial values. However there is a greater chance of misunderstanding as one may not always be able to express thoughts into words and words are all they've got.

AT THE MORAL CROSSROADS

The ethics of certain virtual practices are fiercely debated and questioned. The very concept of a dynamic virtual identity is a moral ambiguity. While some believe that virtuality is a demon that is hell bent on destroying the moral fiber of our society, others feel that all these fears are misplaced and unfounded. Maybe a closer look at these practices and their implications would help.

ANONYMITY

Anonymity in any relationship is admissible or objectionable depending on the seriousness - if the relationship is merely an acquaintance to discuss a common topic of interest, then anonymity becomes irrelevant. It is when people start getting emotionally attached and discuss personal issues that the question arises. The Net's social norms say it is OK to type to total strangers. For some, this becomes a titillating experience, while for others, it represents a real opportunity to expand one's social network. The guarantee of privacy makes people much more willing to shed their inhibitions and be all that they can be. However, such protective anonymity encourages netizens to misbehave. The Internet is replete with instances of deliberate offensiveness, sexual harassment and other crude behavior. The physical aspect of the net may be only virtual but the emotional aspect is definitely real. Victims are known to have experienced extreme trauma akin to analogous incidents in real life. Anonymity is one of the potential hazards in a virtual community.

WHO AM I?

People create their virtual identity according to their fantasies and fancies. They need not be of any specific gender, appearance or traits, but evolve with time. This places a person's identity, appearance and sexuality beyond the plank of certainty. How one person looks at another depends entirely on the information that one chooses to disclose. The personality is very flexible and morphs and mutates with time depending on the feelings & choices of the person involved. The basis of virtual relationships is this very virtual identity. And if this is different from one's real identity, then the very basis of this relationship is deceit and lies. There are also a few known cases of persons fiddling with their identity just to find out how people feel and react to different things. Playing with emotions for the sake of psycho-analysis of behavior has been debated on grounds of ethics of experimentation - likening it to the practice of using animals for research experiments - playing with their lives for the purpose of learning something new.

IT'S A BOY??!! IT'S A GIRL??!!

It is easy to deceive people by changing facets of identity or even a radical change like gender. Since virtual existence holds close parallels to actual life on the net, the question of deception arises. Some feel that cross gendering is a disgusting & perverted practice where people take sadistic pleasure in suckering others into believing that they belong to the opposite sex. Others feel it is done more out of curiosity than an attempt at deception. i.e., people are interested in finding out how the other half lives. Carl Gustav Jung has talked about the contra sexual archetypes (Anima for males and Animus for females), which often get played out as a destructive shadow when they are relegated to the unconscious. On the other hand, if they are integrated into consciousness, they help us attain psychological maturity. In the words of Demaris Wehr, "the anima leads a man into unexplored depths of feeling, relationship, and sensitivity... the integrated animus leads a woman into the world of the spirit, erudition, and the power of the word". There are, of course, some other people male or female who choose to take on an other-persona for destructive reasons. However, this doesn't mean that all such other-persona attempts are inherently destructive in nature. There are con artists in both worlds and the hardest part lies in deciding whether a person is authentic or deceptive.

CONCLUSION

A healthy and emotional relationship is quite possible on the net and there isn't anything inherently immoral or wrong about it. On one hand, virtuality's inherent deconstruction of traditional models of interaction makes people apprehensive about it. On the other hand, it becomes a more exciting and enticing experience. There is no denying the fact that one runs the risk of being conned or manipulated and the emotional repercussions are tremendous, but the same could happen in real life too. The key lies in understanding the distinction between fantasy and deception. Wherever a fantasy environment exists, we can either steer clear or play along. Wherever deception occurs it is odious and uncalled for. One needs to be street smart enough to know where the boundary lies. Here I would like to present a singular analogy I've read. The fact that some people take communication courses to learn to manipulate others doesn't imply that all people taking communication courses have inherently destructive goals. There are times when you take the bait and fall flat on your face. It happens to everyone at some point in their lives. You need to get up and be a little more cautious for the next time. It is perfectly possible to form an authentic relationship with someone you meet online. Infact, it isn't all that different from meeting someone at a pub, a discotheque or a singles corner. With the frenetic pace of technological advances, that day isn't far off when Virtuality would offer a comprehensively stimulating interactive experience at par with if not superior to real life. For now, however, I leave you to muse over these famous words from Carolyn Wells... "Actions lie louder than words."