A Woman's Guide to Healing After a Break-up

Getting your past love out of your present is a mental and emotional challenge. Here are ten fool proof ways to fill his space, and forget his face:

1. He probably wasn't as great as you remember him anyways

As females we sometimes have a tendency to nurture our men, family, and friends in spite of themselves. When a break up occurs the bad is almost always forgotten and all you can remember are all the things he did right. Put things in perspective-we are all human and we all make mistakes. No one is perfect so don't paint the picture in your mind of your ex love to be such. As the old saying goes there are plenty more fish in the sea.

2. Don't contact him

It may be your very first impulse to pick up the phone at the same time you did everyday to call him, but don't do it. As you sit and watch the clock turn 5 p.m you know he gets home from work in about an hour and calls at that time. Forget about it. Busy yourself with other activities especially around the time when he used to call, email, or visit you to make the transition easier.

3. Get closure

Contrary to popular belief obtaining closure after a relationship doesn't mean you have to talk for hours upon hours with your lover to try to make sure that all possible solutions and disagreements are resolved. Make closure within yourself. My suggestion is that you remind yourself that it's over, everything happens for a reason (no matter how pissed off that term makes you), and that you will be ok and find love with someone else. Your mind is as strong as you believe it to be.

4. Avoid "your" places and his friends

Obviously if you spent every Friday night dating you can't avoid every restaurant and movie theater in town, but you can avoid "hot spots". Bars, clubs, pool halls, and other places where you're pretty sure he and his friends hang out would be the worst places to go just after a break up. The last thing you need to see at this point would be your newly broken up with ex grinding with some female on the dance floor, or holding her hand during dinner. Avoid "his" people, places, and things at all costs at least until you know you've moved on enough not to be thrown into a crazy level of emotional instability at the sight of him.

5. Trust yourself and your journal

When recovering from a break up friends are quick to offer advice. To save yourself some dignity and privacy you can keep all the deep dark secrets to yourself. Write it all out in your journal or in a letter to your ex. Keep all the sensitive details between yourself and your journal and you'll be able to deal more efficiently. When friends know all the tiny little details and problems talking the issue to death only adds to your thoughts about your ex.

6. "Get your shit, get your shit, and get out!"
Stealing a line from the movie Waiting to Exhale is my suggestion. Angela Bassett grabbed up all her cheating husband's clothing, and possessions, lit a bonfire in his car, and had a garage sale. You don't have to be so dramatic, but "out of sight, out of mind" is effective. The more stuff you keep of his around you the more you'll be reminded of him. Just get rid of it all. If you ended on good terms you can offer for him to pick up his stuff, if not you can trash it or do with it what you will. Just get rid of his items!

7. Hang out with your friends
Ideally we would all maintain our close group of friends even when entering a relationship, but we all know at times this is far from reality. Two people become a couple and slowly but surely some of the friends fall to the wayside. Now is the time to grovel and apologize for the disconnect, and ask your friend to be there in your time of need. Let your friends know how you feel, and if you're sorry that you ditched them apologize.

8. Remember your freedom? Well it's back!

You are newly single, and being such you have the ability to do as you please without explanation to anyone. No need to worry about what time you're coming or going, when you promised to make that phone call, or what you're doing three weeks from now when his Aunt's wedding was to happen. Start a new hobby, or just settle into your old routine that you had prior to starting the relationship. Now is the absolute perfect time to start pampering yourself in all the ways you wished you could have then.

9. Spend more time with the family

We all know that keeping in touch with family is sometimes an on again off again process. Even though resuming regular communication with your immediate family may not be the first thought on your mind it's probably one of the better ways to deal with the breakup. When all else fails friends and family will usually have your back. Even when your friends fail you your family should love you no matter what, so give them a call.

10. When all else fails...

If you find that none of these other options work for you I'm offering you an option that will at least take your mind off the breakup temporarily. I don't endorse this method, or practice it but to each her own. Sleep with another man. Call it a rebound if you want, but men do it all the time. Nothing removes the feeling of his side of the bed being cold more than a warm body. If you can't love the one you want, love the one you're with.