A Word is a Word, Unless . . Words Can Hurt

Because I feel it is important to stay in tune with the world and its changes as we grow older, I ran into another briar bush yesterday.

As we were waiting for mail, my friend saw someone and mentioned he had just seen his"partner" earlier at the grocery store. This normally calm and tender-humored man got red in the face and yelled at my friend, saying, "A partner is somebody you screw, he's my friend! Why do you keep saying that," he almost spit.

Taken aback I felt out of the loop. Men have called each other partner, pard, as long as I can remember, and that's a long time! When I think of partners, my mind goes to Starsky and Hutch, Hill Street Blues and commercial business where people are partners in companies and businesses. Lawyers are partners oft times. So why the yelling for heaven's sake?

My friend who started the ruckus is gay. He isn't flagrant, just annoying, which I doubt has anything to do with being gay. Perhaps because the word came from him, it was more offensive?

As I sat in stunned silence several others in the group took my friend to task and agreed he should have thought before he spoke. This is like asking an elephant to wear spike heels. Finally I got a word in edgewise and asked what the fuss was about.

It was the consensus of opinion that "partner" had become a word used in gay relationships. Now, I was familiar with the female usage to indicate a significant other, but didn't realize Brokeback Mountain had come to roost in the English language. I still associated partners with the more mundane meaning.

How the world whirls as some of us stand still. I thought I was pretty hep for an old gal, but something new had snuck up on me when I was not paying attention. Society does not stand still with Ozzie and Harriet. . . it marches inexorably toward the future, mutating and molding itself into new shapes and meanings.

Remember the movie "The Gay Caballero"? Now that has an entirely different meaning. Of course, it was Hollywood, so who knows? They say, "Sticks and stones shall break my bones, but words will never hurt me." However, I think words do hurt, and sometimes badly.

Judging people by their personal choices is just plain ignorant and rude. Shouldn't we judge by the content of their hearts? Is a person wise, gentle and kind? If so, the rest doesn't matter a hill of beans.

For those of you who have used the word 'partner' casually, and with innocent meaning, get this new meaning under your belt. To hurt another person's feelings is mean-spirited and cruel. Let kindness rule the day, and our vocabularies.