A Working Mother's Journey to Achieving Joy and Balance

It is an emotional roller coaster. One day you feel like you're on top of the world making strides in the business world, conceptualizing that next great idea, planning power meetings, and otherwise being a successful career woman; but on another day, you feel guilty because you're too tired to play with the kids after your hour-long commute on the dirty subway, picking them up from after-care, and heading straight to the kitchen to prepare Hamburger Helper.

And then it hits you. "I really don't enjoy my life." You're too busy running around chaotically, too busy to talk, and too busy to truly enjoy this life that God has blessed you with.

This full-speed ahead, three-ring circus parade we call being a working mother is a personal choice that God has given us the ability to decide for ourselves and with our families. It is irrelevant to argue whether mothers should be outside the home holding down nine-to-fives. And it's a waste of breath to even attempt to answer the age-old question: Can women have "it" all? "It" being successful careers and well-adjusted families. Let's face it. Some of us work by choice, while others work out of necessity.

So, please don't get me wrong. I'm sure you love your family to death, and you can say your job is OK, but one thing is seriously missing from the picture-joy.

"You haven't done this before. Ask, using my name [Jesus], and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy." (John 16:24)

I don't have this balance thing down to a science, because honestly, I'm working on this for my own life; but here are some things I'm learning to do:

Enjoy your life. At different points in your life, the Bible shows us that inevitably we will experience trouble, persecution, and even sorrow. That's a given. It is a privilege to suffer with Christ and to bear our own crosses; but in those times when trouble is far away, you MUST remember to enjoy this life God has so blessed you with. You don't have to spend thousands on a family vacation either. Set aside time to have some fun with the kids every week reading books aloud or playing hide-and-seek at the local park. After the kids go to bed, catch up on conversation with the hubby instead of checking email. (Some of the best foreplay ever!) You have a lot to be thankful for!

Make those things that are important to you a priority. Many projects and activities may seem "good" or like the right thing to do, but it doesn't mean you have to commit your time, energy, and creativity to it. When an opportunity comes your way, don't just automatically accept it, but use wisdom to determine if it matches your goals and teach your children to do the same. Ask yourself, "Do I have enough time to do this project? Will I be able to put forth my best effort?" If you do something just for the sake of doing something, your heart won't be in it. And make sure those things that are truly important like your relationship with God, and spending quality time with the "fam" come first!

Don't over-schedule you or your family's lives. I can speak from recent experience that doing too much is probably one of the biggest culprits to chaos. Not only can it be tiring, but it can cause you to be scatter-brained, unorganized, and inefficient. One test to figure out if your life is over-scheduled is this: If every minute of your day is allocated to something, you're probably over-scheduled. Pad your schedule with an extra 15 minutes here and there so you're not rushing between tasks. And stop beating yourself up about how dirty the house is. You'll get to it!

Remember that you're on God's time. Do not place unreasonable demands on yourself or your family because you feel like you're running out of time, or as if you should be further along than where you are in regards to your goals and dreams. Everything that God starts in you will be brought to completion; not in your timing, but in the right time--God's time. "And I am sure that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on that day when Christ Jesus comes back again." (Philippians 1:6)