A Writer's Guide to Acting: Relationships Are About Emotions, Not Facts, Part II

Remember what you learned about relationship in part one of this section. They aren't about the facts, they're about the emotions. They also don't remain constant, but change continually. Relationships simply aren't about the facts of who people are, but about the emotions that exist between them. Also remember that plays and movies are condensed life stories. Even the longest movies only run between three and four hours. Every scene is important and characters don't talk to each other unless they have something to say. The first question you should always ask about a scene is why am I here?

Why are you in that scene? And never be satisfied with the answer that you are here because the writer wrote it that way. That's not anywhere near good enough. As an actor, that answer just won't cut it. The first question you have to answer is why you aren't somewhere else. If you are in the scene, that means out of all the million other places you could be and the million other things you could be doing, you decided against them. Sometimes, it will be because you have been forced against your will into being n that scene. But most of the time the answer isn't that easy. Other times, the answer will be easy because it will be obvious. For instance, if it's a love scene, it's usually pretty easy to figure out why you want to be there instead of somewhere else. But most of the scenes you will be in will confront you with a situation where answering the question of why you are there isn't so easy or obvious. Sometimes you may even find yourself saying that you are leaving, yet you don't. Why don't you? In real life, if you wanted to get up and leave, most of time you probably would. But when you're acting, your character stays. Why? Again, because the writer makes you stay isn't good enough. It's not enough to know that later on something comes up that proves it was important that your character didn't leave. At the time he says he's going, he probably won't know why it was important for him to stay. You have to find a reason, an emotional need to stay. You have to know exactly why you are in that scene.

Typically, you will find that relationships determine why your character is in a particular scene it is the relationship that determines why he or she doesn't get up and leave. If you're saying that you don't intend to stand here and listen to this abuse anymore, but you do stay there, it's up to you to find out why. The answer, more often than not, will lie in the relationship. More to the point, the answer will lie in how you feel about the other character or characters. Do you love them? Do you fear them? Both? You may even truly be completely indifferent to the other characters, but you're more afraid of who may be waiting for you if you leave.

Guess what? That's a relationship. Sometimes the most important relationship you have in a scene is with someone not actually physically present in the scene. Don't make the mistake of getting fooled into thinking that just because there are ten characters in the scene with you that one of them has to qualify as the most important relationship you have in that scene. Consider real life. Have you ever been among a large group of people, people whom you know and with whom you have relationships, but your every thought and decision while among them stems from how you feel about someone who isn't even there? Just because the writer has placed in a scene with a bunch of other people, that doesn't mean one of them has to be the most important person in your character's life. You have to figure out which of the various relationships you have in the story is the most important one to you in every single scene. And sometimes, the answer to that question changes during the scene. Remember, relationships aren't static and unchanging. They are fluid and ever-changing. Use that instability to create uncertainty and surprise in your character. You don't have to stick with one relationship being the most important throughout the scene if you sense that things have changed.

One of the most important things to figure out in any scene is who you care about more than any other person. And it can't be you, because no matter how selfish and self-centered a person really is, they never seen themselves as being that selfish and that self-centered. You may know in your heart as an actor that you are playing a person who doesn't care about anyone else, but your character won't think that. And one of the secrets to acting is playing the character as they feel about themselves, not as you or anybody else feels about them. Have you ever met someone in real life who looks completely shocked when you point out how selfish they are? People never think the worst of themselves and your character shouldn't either. The only time you are allowed to be self-centered and selfish is in thinking that every scene is about you.

Which is why it is absolutely essential that you find someone that your character cares about more than anyone else. No matter how awful a human being you are playing, he is still a human being. Humans crave love and understanding. Even if we know deep in our hearts that we are completely despicable, we still want someone to tell us it's not all our fault and we'll be okay. How many books have been written about finding your soul mate? Think about all the different dating services available. Think about how big a business the relationship business is. How much money is spent trying to get people together. It's huge. It's huge because it's important. We all want someone to care deeply about and who will care about us. Just don't forget that sometimes that person we care about the most is not necessarily someone we love the most. The most important relationship sometimes doesn't bring us love, but something else. Discover who your character cares about most deeply, who he is willing to do whatever it takes to get. And then discover why he cares about that person so much and why he is willing to do whatever it takes to get them. It doesn't matter if that character is in the scene or not. It makes it a lot easier if he is, but it really doesn't matter. What matters is that the relationship that means the most to you is somehow at stake in the scene.

What does that mean? What does it mean that the relationship be at stake? What that means is that the characters who are actually in the scene must somehow play a part in the relationship that means the most. In other words, your relationship with the other characters is defined by how they affect the relationship with the person you care about the most. It's all intertwined and interconnected. You may be playing a scene in a convenience store with the clerk. This character will never be seen again. Your job, then, is to figure out how to develop a relationship with him in the scene determined by your relationship with who you care about the most. Is he taking too long and keeping you from getting home? Is she incredibly attractive and making you question your love? A little scene that means nothing as written and has no apparent relationship between the people in it can be used by a great actor to add tremendous depth to characterization.

The relationship in any scene is characterized by who you care about the most and how that is important to you. Once you figure that out, it typically becomes much easier to figure out why you are in that scene. Knowing why you are in that scene instead of anywhere else and doing anything else is incredibly important. If you don't know what you're doing there, chances are you won't be able to figure anything else out.