ABCDE-Levinger's Five Stages of Relationships

George Levinger saw relationships as having five stages that he referred to as the ABCDE model which includes "attraction, building, continuation, deterioration, and ending" Nevid & Rathus, 2005. According to Levinger, these five stages related to any relationship regardless of whether it is a significant other, friend, or family.

A-Attraction Stage

The attraction stage usually begins at the first sight of someone. You may be attracted to another's appearance, dress, or body language in a face-to-face encounter, or by the stories a friend regales you with. With the advent of cyber dating, you may be attracted to another because of similar interests, life philosophies, personality, or a photograph or webcam.

B-Building Stage

The building stage is where a potential couple (or friends) find common ground in personality, attitude, and interests, or anything with which to continue a conversation in the hopes of building a foundation for a relationship The building stage is the stage in which relationships are ended before they are even begun because of an inability to find common ground.

C-Continuations Stage

After two people pass the building stage and have determined the relationship is worth pursuing, they enter the continuation stage, in which they put forth the effort to enhance the positive factors of the relationship. An example of this would be demonstrations of affection, trust, commitment, lack of jealousy, equality in the relationship, and mutual satisfaction. During this phase, "I" is usually replaced by "We," referred to as mutuality, it is the indication that each party wishes to continue and deepen the relationship and is distinguished by "cognitive interdependence."

The last two stages: deterioration and ending are completely avoidable, if both parties remain committed to the continuation and relationship maintenance necessary for long term success.

D-Deterioration Stage

Deterioration is when one or both parties no longer desire to remain in the relationship, feel the relationship has declined past the point of saving, or feel the cost is greater than the reward. Maintaining good interpersonal communication skills, resolving conflicts in an affable manner, or seeking professional help and guidance can prevent or stop the deterioration of the relationship.

E-Ending Stage

The ending stage is when the deterioration stage has not been stopped due to a passive response by one or both parties (sitting back and waiting for the issues to resolve themselves) or an active response that failed to reignite the relationship.

The ending stage, though it can be extremely painful for all parties involved, it is not necessarily a bad thing, because it allows both parties to grow, mature, and maybe learn from past mistakes. It also gives each party a fresh start and the chance to seek happiness elsewhere, perhaps with someone more compatible or with someone with whom you may have more commonalities.

References

Nevid, J. S., & Rathus, S. A. (2005). Psychology and the challenges of life: Adjustment in the new millennium (9^th ed.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons.