Able & Cain Syndrome VS. Hatfield & McCoy

The Hatfield v/s the McCoy this is the historic epitome of Family feuds, of late we have even heard of a chemical disorder due to a tumor and/or gland dysfunction that supports the behavior of this long lasting feud. (Lacking the documentation as to understanding why they could not get along with each other but get along fairly well with the masses.) But lesser known is the family feuds that goes on within the family structure, be it the immediate family or the extended family. We are talking about the Able and Cain syndrome, (poor Seth) David and his eleven jealous brothers.

There are many reasons that families have on going feuds. At the top of that list we will be fast to say it is because we don't get to pick what family we are born into.

Well as much as this is true it is also the excuse we use not to make changes. First and foremost we must look at how the parents interact with each other and how they interact with the others in the family whether it is children, parents, siblings or in-laws. Then there is how each situation in the household is handled.

If we find no peace among us why would we stay together?

What have we to gain?

Review your place in this family?

What do you have to offer and what and/or how much do you offer?

Is their a loss or any damage if you we're not involved?

Would you like to be involved, why?

We don't always see what we are doing right or wrong, or allow others to live, work, and play according to their own standards.

If what they do, does not directly affects you then you need to allow them to see the errors of their ways in their own way and time. There is less conflict if we stop ridiculing and pointing out others flaws.

The focus does not have to be on what will make you happy. You need to be responsible for your own happiness even and including separating your self from those that interfere with that happiness. Be it they irritate, they lie, steal, is vain or what so ever. If being around or involved with them is causing you to re-act poorly then you need to look at what it will take to restore peace in your life.

We gain very little peace or pleasure and even less respect in conflicts.

However walking away is the last result it is in fact for losers, so to speak.

What I'm saying is you must lose to walk away it will not solve the problem, just the situation.

If what you are losing is worth what you are gaining then it's no real loss, is it?

Understand that there are many forms of family disputes, spats, sibling rivals, and plain long disagreements. This is not nearly what we will be seeing in family feuds.

In the above mentions members of a family will have periodic fall outs (or even frequent fall outs) but there is still the love and attachment that is gain from the bonds formed from the years of residing with each other.

The form of family feuding that I'm aiming at is to the extended that members are mentally and emotionally depleted, not to mention maimed and or killed by other members of the family.

Sisters that make it their life long habits of hurting each other and each others love ones.

Brothers that beat, stab, and shot each other.

Sisters and brothers that teach their sons and daughters to hate their Aunts, uncles, and cousins to the point that they can never get together.

Mothers and Fathers that teaches their children to hate each other, hate one parent or the other, or hate one of our more of the grandparents.

What could happen to cause this?

Inequality:

As a child one/or both parents should favoritism to one or more children.

One or more siblings bonding against another.

The way that situations may be handled in the household.

Seldom but from time to time it can derive from an individual's own jealousy.

And in some of the saddest cases it is the misplaced loyalty of one family member to another.

With all of this being said, it is rare that you see family feuding listed as a reason for the breakdown of the family structure.