Abuse Victims

As an adult who suffered child sexual abuse I have found that I disagree with most opinions and information found on the internet. In most cases you will find people who tell you that you should forgive and forget and move on. The problem with this theory is that when you are abused at an age where your mind is still developing, it can become difficult to learn normal behaviors and coping mechanisms. This is especially true when, like in my case, the abuser is a family member. It is difficult to understand why and to reconcile common knowledge with the behavior that you've seen over the years.

What I've learned as an adult is this: if you feel that noone understands, that you are alone, and that your life will never be the same again; it probably won't. Yet, there are ways to try and make it better. I've found that counseling can help. Surround yourself with people who are willing to keep an open mind and are willing to support the decisions that you make. Life can be better around the corner you just have to be willing to do the work. As for the abuser, i've found that it is impossible to forgive. Noone who does that to a child should be aloud back in your life. As for mine, i've locked out that part of my family for years. That may seem strange to some people, but I call it a defense mechanism.

Now, the abuse victim will always find that there are people out there who will try to push them to the Christian form of god. I refuse this idea and vehemently deny them access. Each person should be aloud to deal with this trauma in their own way with no interference from others. If a victim decides to forgive their abuser, it should be because they truly want to not because someone pressured them into doing so. The most important advice I can give is to be who you are and to deal and cope in your own way and your own time. No other person can tell you what is in your heart.