Abusive Co-Worker, Abusive Boss

Having been in the workforce for nearly 20 years, I have worked for a variety of different people. Some were very nice, others were downright horrible. It is often very hard to tell when some one is mistreating you, or just being rude. However, I have some ideas on what you can do about it.

Abusive Co-Worker: Is very accusatory, abrupt, and just downright ignorant in their behavior towards you and others.

Solution: If your co-worker is acting unethically, report their behavior to your immediate Supervisor, especially, if it interferes with your ability to do your job. No one should treat you with blatant disrespect.

Abusive Co-Worker: You have reported their behavior and/or conduct to your Supervisor, and their behavior actually gets worse, instead of better. They continue to make attacks against you, and your work, becoming more antagonistic. The work environment has now reached an incredibly hostile level. In other words, your Boss did nothing about it.

Solution: Contact your company's Human Resource Representative. If you have gone through the proper chain of command, meaning your Supervisor, and possibly, your Supervisor's Boss, then it is time to file a formal complaint. Especially, if nothing is being done about the situation to your satisfaction. You do not want to seem like a "tattle-tale," but again, no one should be allowed to mistreat you or question your work habits and ethics.

Abusive Co-Worker: Instigates a verbal argument, yelling at you, becoming belligerent and just down right nasty. In my case, two co-workers actually caused me to end up in the Emergency Room with a stress-related seizure due to our argument.

Solution: Go to your Supervisor immediately, and if your Supervisor refuses to do anything about the situation, go to Human Resources. Again, no one has the right to treat you with such disrespect. Companies are supposed to have guidelines for the behavior of their employees. Most companies are very specific. Anyone caught harassing or mistreating another employee is terminated immediately. If you are lucky, those responsible will be fired. In my case, they remained employed, and were allowed to continue their mistreatment of me and other employees.

Unfortunately, for me, I ended up having to leave the company because nothing was done to curtail their unethical behavior. This is where having an abusive Boss also factored into my problems. While she was a decent enough person, she could still be termed as abusive.

Abusive Boss: Makes you "feel" two inches tall. Doesn't seem to appreciate any of the hard work that you do. Yells at you, constantly using a nasty tone of voice. The list is endless.

Solution: You need to have a frank conversation with your Boss. Explain to him/her that you feel that they don't appreciate you or your hard work. Ask them to clarify why they are behaving the way that they are. Maybe they are simply having a bad day. If the behavior continues however, you may want to start looking elsewhere for employment. Don't wait until they have had one bad day too many, or you have because of their behavior. You deserve respect. Never let anyone, not even your Boss, mistreat you. You deserve better.

Now, working in any company is going to have its' ups and its' down sides. Nothing is ever going to be like something out of a fairy tale. That being said, however, it doesn't mean that you should have to take any kind of abuse. Working is stressful, unless you are working for yourself, of course.

You should be able to go to work, do your job, and not have the added stress of dealing with unethical co-workers or a lousy manager. If you find yourself in this situation, it is time to consider finding another job. You should do this, especially, when you might have health conditions that can be made worse by unnecessary stress. You might get lucky and find an employer who appreciates you. That would be a winning situation for all concerned. That's what happened with me. I left a very bad situation, and ended up with a great Boss, the next time I took a job. They were always telling me how much they appreciated me. That felt good.

The above being the most awful of situations, this doesn't mean that you can't try to address issues with co-workers before going to your Boss. However, if a co-worker is just unwilling to hear you out or unwilling to hear that they are making you miserable, then it's best to go to your Supervisor. While this can sometimes cause even more trouble, following the chain of command is always the right way to go about things.

Lastly, make sure that you write everything down. I mean everything. Log every detail, every instance of abuse. If you don't, you will not have the proof required to make your case to your Supervisor, or to Human Resources. They are going to want examples. Be ready to give them this information. It might be the only way for anyone to see what has been happening.

I hope that this helps others that are in or might be in a difficult working situation with people who are unethical. I hope that this gives you the courage to walk away.