Abusive Relationships Affect Everyone

A few years ago I used to be one of those woman being abused. I got away by the skin on my teeth. I hope that these words will bring strength to those who need it. Maybe someone will read this and learn from my mistake and through that awareness I have made a small change somewhere in someone's life.With that said believe me when I tell you that I am not passing judgment on anyone.

There are many of us out there who stay because we really believe that we can make them change or that things will get better believe me when I tell you that if they haven't they most likely won't. I don't need someone in my life to know that I am worth something or to love me. Nobody can determine do that except for you. I used to think that I needed someone to love me and I was right but I was looking in the wrong places. You have to love yourself first. When you begin to love yourself then you will know what is the way that others should love you as well. Meaning that if you would not hurt yourself because you love yourself than you will not allow someone else to hurt you to tell you that they love you. If you wouldn't do it to yourself then don't allow someone else to do it to you. I know some of you are thinking well I'm physically overpowered I don't have a choice. Wrong you always have a choice you may be overpowered by them physically but you don't have to let it continue on you have the choice to leave. When someone abuses you they don't respect you. To be honest they only have power over you because you gave it to them.

When you decide to leave stand your ground and do not go back. Actions speak louder than words. Don't say you going to leave and then stay because they promised that they will change. They are manipulating you again. It's another way to keep you they will be good for a few days or weeks until you make them hit you again. Yes you because you are always doing something to make them angry. You are the one to blame and they will always be sorry. Let me tell you I have heard it all. You staying will only fuel their sense of power over you and the idea that you truly can't live without them.

For those of you who have children I can guarantee you that you are not doing a good thing for your children. They will not love you more because you did not leave their abusive father who might later abuse them(not always so but a possibility one must take into consideration). You may not want to have your children growing up without their father in the picture. Sometimes in trying to have your kids grow up in a happy family you are doing the exact opposite. Instead they will grow up in a dysfunctional home were they have a hard time as adults knowing what is appropriate and healthy and what isn't. Most of the things that you learn in life are through imitation. So if we see our mothers being abused we grow up thinking it's okay to be abused or abuse others. Not all children grow up thinking like that there are some who remember the abuse and grow up not allowing anyone to abuse them and don't abuse anyone but why chance it.

Think about your situation and in ask yourself if what is happening to you is right? Would you want that for a loved one or friend? If your answer is no then you know that its not what you want for yourself. Think about what you can do to change the current situation. You can't fix or change the past but you can fix and change the outcome of your future. I am not saying that it is going to be easy because if I told you that I would be lying to you. When you finally get yourself together and begin to heal emotionally you will be glad that you did it. When you feel like giving up, giving in, and going back remember that you will only put yourself one step farther from your goal. Nothing good in life that is worth having ever comes without tears, sweat and blood. Your health, happiness,family(children) and life are worth it.