Abusive Relationships - Are You in One?

What is an abusive relationship? How do you know if you are in one? What if you have never been hit or pushed? Is it possible to feel perfectly safe and still be in an abusive relationship? How do you know if you are being abused?

These are questions that you might be asking yourself-even if you won't ask them out loud. The truth is that there are not always clear-cut answers. Sometimes abuse is easy to point out because the bruises are visible. Sometimes, however, it is not so easy to identify abuse because the abuser didn't leave a mark, at least not a visible one.

Let's start with the harder types of abuse to identify. Emotional abuse is one of them. Emotional abuse often occurs when one party is more involved or needy than the other. These needy people make an easy target. It is easy to take advantage of someone who is going to be there tomorrow no matter what.

Emotional abuse can start small and can easily be blown off as nothing. In fact, many times the abused feels responsible for being torn down…and this is exactly what the abuser wants. It can start with tiny insults that slowly torment the abused person. Little jabs that seem like nothing at the time can tear at a person until they start to believe them. For instance, a line like, "How can you be so beautiful and so dumb at the same time?" or "To be such as smart guy, you can't even get that right." are emotional jabs. They are disguised as a compliment, and the person on the receiving end doesn't realize that is was a stab into their dignity. Enough of those, and people can start to feel as worthless as abusers think they are.

The more obvious type of abuse is physical abuse. Physical abuse is usually preceded by emotional abuse. If a person is easily victimized emotionally, it makes it easier for them to be a victim physically. And though physical abuse is much more easy to spot than emotional, it is often overlooked just as much. People are often in denial about it.

Despite the common excuse-"I will never do it again"-physical abuse is seldom a one-time incident. Even when the abuser is not causing physical harm, there is always an underlying threat that can be just as damaging. And although most people think of physical abuse as a man's abuse of a woman, that is not always the case. Men are also victims of abuse. They also make easy targets because, if they are victims to begin with, they are less likely to retaliate. Physical abuse knows no boundaries.

If you are asking yourself any of the questions listed in the introduction, then you may be a victim of abuse. If you aren't yet, then there is a possibility that you will be. The simple rule of thumb here is that when in doubt, the worst case is usually correct.