AC Exclusive Interview with Global Warming

His name is Global Warming, G-Dub for short, and he is the biggest name on the planet right now. Currently on a 131-nation tour, I caught up with him in between gigs.

Chris Cameron: Thanks for taking the time to sit down with Associated Content G-Dub.

G-Dub: It's my pleasure man. I got nothing but love for y'all.

C: Thanks for the props. How is the tour going?

G: Man, it is a crazy scene. Everywhere I go the fans just love me.

C: So then why does everyone blame you for climate change?

G: It's the bling bling baby, I'm so hot right now.

C: You are kidding right?

G: Awwww, hell no! Look at every news story, they mention me. Mars gets warmer, they mention me. A building in Switzerland falls down, they mention me. Hell, I don't even know where that is but people there have heard of me. I'm world wide live! Holla back!

Now what does bother me is how everyone is trying to use my name to make money. It's like I'm some kind of commodity to be traded on the stock market or something. But I'm just philosaphilizin'.

C: I don't think that word exists

G: Sure it does. It means thinking about deep stuff.

C: You could say philosophy or being philosophical.

G: Yah you could but what I'm talking about is taking to the whole 'nother level.

C: Critics of your ability and talent say the world would be happier if you just went away. What is your response to their claims?

G: Man, everybody is a hater. They like to see the popular people knocked down. But you get rid of me, and I'll be back. Just keeping it real dawg.

C: So what are your plans for the near future?

G: Right now, and it's all in the planning stages, but I'm going to be the first person to perform in the Artic. I hear it's really heating up there and my agent says my name recognition went up 75% last year alone in the region. I can see the ringtone download sales now.

C: And after that?

G: I'd like to get away from the limelight for awhile I think. You know, retire in the Caribbean. Hot women, sandy beaches, you know the 411.

C: Did you kill Tupac?

G: Hell no! The man is prophet. I got nothing but love for him. I was just getting started back then, I ran into him a few times, but I ain't no gangbanger. You know who I think did it? Oprah.

C: Ok, now that is just ridiculous. Is that more of your philosiphisin?

G: No man. Check it out. According to an article on the website you write for, Dave Chappele had to flee the country and go into hiding after he made fun of her on his show. Oprah hates any other black celebrity more famous then her. When Tupac was risin' up so was Oprah and she couldn't stand it. True story, my sister's nephew's cousin knows this dude who back in the day said it was true. Word.

C: So if that is the case, aren't you worried?

G: If I have to cool down to get off that bitch's death radar then I'll do it. Normally I'm not scared but this is Oprah were talking about here. Oprah!

C: Changing topics here, what about the recent rumors you got Mother Nature pregnant?

G: Lies, lies, and more damn lies. I admit we partied together one night in New Orleans a couple of years back, but the kid ain't mine. He doesn't even look like me!

C: Now about your first album, isn't it just a much of remixes of old songs and covers? In other words aren't you all hype and little sustenance?

G: People who say that haven't heard my music or seen my shows. Have you heard my remash of Nellie's "Getting Hot in Here"? I'll even go as far as to say with 90% certainty I am more then just hype. I'll show the haters.

C: I hope so for your sake, G-Dub. Thank you again for taking the time to do this.

G: It's my pleasure Chris. Peace out!