Achieving Blue-Blooded Zen: Why Paris Hilton Should Run for President

For the Oklahoma couple that just won a whopping 105.8 million dollars in the state lottery and anyone else who happens across such a sudden and rosy financial future, I've invented a new word: riche-jubilé, or, the jubilant rich. This is an extremely small (possibly non-existent) and quite elite group of people who actually manage to be rich and happy at the same time because, let's face it, money won't make you happy and even we poor, writer folks know it. If you're minding your own business and all the sudden you hear the sounds of "bling, bling" or "cha-ching" pointed in your direction, then look out -- you've just been unwittingly targeted as the next up-and-coming miserable person! You must act quickly to avoid your fate, or, to be more precise, you must quickly act not to act. Since you aren't in the habit of being so well-off, you'll want to sit on your hands (and your wallet) for a bit while you study the path of the riche-jubilé.

You'll begin your journey to happy affluence (and prevent a wild ride to certain doom) by looking to the stars for guidance. Much to her credit, Angela Jolie, with her United Nations involvement and her many third-world adoptees, knows how to be a classy role model for the fledgling riche-jubilé set. Paris Hilton, on the other hand, with her prison stripes and her porn flicks, does not.

Ponder the stars for as long as you need. When you're ready, here is the strategy of the riche-jubilé and a list of several projects to get your ideas flowing.

Riche-Jubilé: The Three-Step Path for Lottery Winners

Step 1: Invest enough to live comfortably (but not extravagantly) off annual dividends.

Step 2: Plan what you will do, not what you will buy or give away.

Step 3: Plan how to finance your project with a small out-of-pocket startup fund and annual dividends.

Now that you've set yourself up to have lots of free time and a reasonable income, here are a few things you might consider doing:

1. Run for office. Though it may seem that the odds are insurmountably against you, you can run and win, but even if you don't win, you will inspire others to try it too. Ours is supposed to be a government by the people and for the people, not by career politicians. In the true spirit of our forefathers, Paris Hilton would be a much better presidential candidate than Hillary Clinton simply because she hasn't spent her life learning how to con the taxpayers. Given her circumstances, though, an even better candidate than Paris would be you. You haven't yet had time the for your money to go to your head and as an average Joe, you've still got your finger on the real pulse of our country. If everyone who held an office was just like that, imagine how much we'd save in pork-barrel projects!

2. Do you love danger, adventure and travel? How about setting up an underground library and literacy program for children in countries besieged by terrorism, religious fundamentalism and low literacy rates. In the long, long run, the critical thinking skills and education they gain from your efforts might eventually help to turn the terrorism fervor upside down and create a new world peace for your great, great grandchildren to enjoy.

3. Invent that handy something that you've always thought would improve the lives of your fellow humans. Once your project is ready, start a business to manufacture, market and sell that product. If you'd like to combine a good deed with your profit-making machine, try locating your business in an area with a depressed economy.

4. Go back to school and pursue your passion. Do not discount the value of your voice in the proceedings of this planet. If you are an American, you were born with the silver spoons of freedom, literacy and opportunity in your mouth. Though you may not recognize it as such, this puts you at a huge advantage over the rest of the world. You can and should leverage that advantage and use it to improve the lives of others.

5. Don't give money to charities when you could be there in person. Giving money to charities when you've got so much free time is such a cop-out! If you'd like to help save lives in third world countries, go there yourself and help provide food, clean water and medical necessities -- then help with the finances if you want.

6. Become your own media power-house. Start your own news program or talk show, write and self-publish that novel you've always dreamed of or film your own documentary -- Michael Moore could certainly stand the competition.

7. Become a cyber-cop. Join the online vigilantes who hang out in chat rooms and help bust the people that prey on our children. The more dicey it gets for the criminals, the less likely they are to come after your child.

8. Adopt children from local or international orphanages or foster homes. Could there be anything more rewarding?

9. Start your own lottery. You may need to talk to a lawyer first to see how you can do this without breaking any laws, but wouldn't it be nice to give others the same opportunity you've just had?

10. Become a spokesperson for your favorite cause. If everybody gave their voice to just one personal soapbox, imagine what a great stew of ideas we'd have brewing in this country right now! Whether you're into conservation, right to life issues, disease and cancer research or what have you, having a lot of money at your disposal will do much to help you get your message out. You could even start your own not-for-profit organization or hire lobbyists and a public relations firm -- the sky's the limit!

These are just a few ideas and I'm sure you've got others to add to the list. Have fun with your new-found fortune but keep in mind, the secret to happiness for the riche-jubilé lies in asking not what you can have, but what you can do.