AC's David Patrick on Interviewing, Marriage and Obama Love Songs

AC Content Producer David Patrick may come across from some of his writing as a bit eccentric. And that's being politically correct, my friends! At least, that was my impression of him when I first learned that he had published an exclusive interview during the fall of 2008 - with himself - right here on AC! What I did not realize then was that this is a writer who is simply ahead of his time. It's the rest of us who need to catch up.

If you have not yet had the "David Patrick Experience," I urge you to take a diversion for just a moment before reading this page any further, and click on "DP's" nutty - if not ingenious - self-interview.

Read on to learn more about this uniquely engaging writer, whom I recently had the honor of interviewing.

Dr. M: I found your interview with yourself to be quite - uh - intriguing, to say the least! I can only imagine how this would've played out in a video. What did you learn about David Patrick during the interview that you didn't already know?

DP: Jamie, I just found out again that I am pretty darn talented. How many people do you know who can successfully carry on an interview with themselves? I mean, aside from someone needing to be outfitted in a nice, tight, white jacket? (Although whether I need to get one of those jackets is still debatable...)

Dr. M: When you interrupted yourself during your interview, you described your own behavior as rude. One could easily surmise from this that you are a "difficult" person to interview. What's your take on this?

DP: I wouldn't say I was a difficult person to interview. I may have been a little ticked off that I had to interview myself. I'm glad you finally decided to get with the program, Jamie! I'm only half-kidding. One thing that is really important to me is good manners. How rude is it to cut people off in mid-sentence? It's just awful!

Dr. M: I concur! Who do you think did a better job with this interview - you, the interviewer or you, the interviewee? Which role did you enjoy the most and why?

DP: Did you not understand my answer to your first question? I am pretty darn talented. I believe that both the interviewer and interviewee could not do it without each other. I literally did not plan any questions for myself. Kind of like Oprah - that lady just gets up there and wings it. You know how she does: "Today on the show we have a special guest. Welcome David Patriiiiiiiiick!!"

Every question led to an answer and every answer reminded me of another question I could ask. The role I enjoyed the most is the third role that wasn't published: the role of the typist. None of it would have been possible without him.

Dr. M: I can tell that this was quite an exhilarating experience for you. But let's just suppose that someone were to read your interview with yourself and accuse you of being a bit loony. What would your response be?

DP: The chair is against the wall. John has a long mustache.

Dr. M: (Clearing throat) Okay then! Moving right along...

Congratulations on your first wedding anniversary - which, I take from your interview, was in October of '08! You noted that you might write an article on marriage entitled, "You are Not Ready for Marriage until You are Willing to be Miserable Forever." If your wife were to write an article on the same subject, what title do you think she would give it?

DP: She would probably write a series of articles. The first would be called: "How I Raised An Idiot To Be A Grown Man." The second in the series would be: "What Was I Thinking? My Husband Is Awesome!"

Dr. M: Yes, I can see why a variety of article ideas might come to her mind. Here's a hypothetical situation for you. Someone gives you the task - which could potentially earn you millions - of creating "The David Patrick Survival Kit for Newlyweds". This kit must consist of only tangible items. What items do you believe would be absolute "musts" for that kit?

DP: Wow - seems like there is no real way to be prepared as a newlywed... You would have to be like MacGyver to truly be prepared. So here goes:

The book entitled, The 5 Love Languages (a must have!); birth control pills or condoms (kids too early further complicate the already complicated); a recipe book for those who can't cook; and a separate bedroom to go to when you need to get away from each other.

That's a tough question Jamie! There is a reason why you're the best interviewer on Associated Content!

Dr. M: Why thank you, DP! I would be doing someone with your level of creativity a disservice if I made the questions too easy. Speaking of marriage, you noted in another article entitled "Obama Babies," that the relationship between Barack Obama and his wife Michelle is nothing short of an aphrodisiac. If you were to produce a CD of love songs (original or otherwise) as a tribute to the couple, what would the title of the CD and the first few tracks be?

DP: Dang! Barack and Michelle really don't need a soundtrack. But let's see... If they had to show the rest of us how to set the mood, I would put out an album called Presidential Passion. I would probably throw some sitcom theme songs like the Golden Girls song, "Thank you for being a friend" and that song from - I think it was the television show, Growing Pains, "As long as we got each other." And I see Barack and Michelle liking those old jams like Rick James and Tina Marie's "Fire and Desire".

Being friends is the best aphrodisiac! Let that be a lesson to all the single folks. Friendship works wonders for a marriage.

Dr. M: I'm glad you clarified that DP! I wasn't mentally connecting the sitcom music with "passion" and I had a hard time envisioning a romantic kiss to the tune of "Thank you for being a friend"! I do however like your emphasis on friendship, as I too feel it should be the basis for any marriage.

In reference to your article published on 10/7/2008, entitled, "I Want to Give Sarah Palin a Hug," do you still want to give Sarah Palin a hug? Why or why not?

DP: Not really. She's been whining too much. At first I felt sorry for her. Now I think she needs to fade to black. It's like the whole "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." Now I want her to just go and sit down somewhere.

Dr. M: If you could interview both John McCain and Sarah Palin together, what's one question that you would want them both to answer?

DP: Wow! First of all, let me say that I have much respect for John McCain. But the campaign they ran was awful. I would have a gang of questions, but since you said that we could only ask one question I would sit them in a room side by side. I would sit across from them with my notepad and just ask, "Why?"

Dr. M: You're a riot DP! But I know that you have many different sides to you as a writer and a person in general. In closing, what can members of the AC community expect from Content Producer David Patrick in the future?

DP: All jokes aside; first of all, my new AC fans can expect me to write more often. I had taken a serious break from writing in order to get some business ventures I have off the ground. I will probably begin to write about things that relate to my business such as maintaining a proper work-life balance, time saving tips, and living life with intentionality. It's very important to live life on purpose. Of course I am a politics junkie so the AC Community can also expect me to write about what's going on.

Also the AC Community can look for me on Twitter. I am addicted to Twitter! And check out my other blogs (if AC will allow them to be promoted...)

Dr. M: Thank you for your time DP. I wish you much success with your writing and business endeavors. It's been a pleasure!

DP: Thanks for the interview Doc! I appreciate it. Great questions. You stumped me a few times...