Activities for Girls: T-ball Vs. Dance Class

If I had my way, my daughter would be a tomboy. I would prefer her to be like Sam on iCarly until about age 15 or so. But in a case of nature trumping nurture, she loves the color pink, wearing dresses and all things girly.

And since she is an All-American girl, her mom and I enrolled her in dance class. But to keep my hopes of her being a tomboy alive, she is also playing T-ball at the YMCA. Our experiences with these two activities have been so completely different and have 100 percent reinforced my wish for her early development. Let's compare and contrast the two activities.

In dance class she was in a group of her peers, made up entirely of four and five-year-old girls. In T-ball, she is on a team that has boys and girls ages three and four. Her dance class met once a week while she plays two games of T-ball each week.

We had to pay $30 for her to play T-ball. She got a shirt and a hat as part of that fee. There are no other uniform requirements. She wears hand-me-down ball pants from her older brother and regular sneakers. The Y provides bats and helmets, although her mom bought her a pink bat and helmet. I will guesstimate the cost of those items at $35. We also need to provide a glove. At first she was using a hand-me-down glove from her brother (which was a hand-me-down from his cousin) but her mom bought her - you guessed it - a pink glove. The guesstimate on that is $15.

For dance class, we had to pay a $30 non-refundable registration fee. After that the cost was $40 a month. They required both ballet and tap shoes, which I don't want to know how much they cost. The dance class also required us to purchase a costume for the recital which cost $70. We then had to pay to attend the recital, which cost $35 for unlimited family members and guests to attend. We had to pay to have pictures taken, which were then included in a souvenir program which cost $10 to buy. They wanted us to buy an ad for the program (which we declined). Also, we were not allowed to take pictures or videos during the recital, because they were making their own DVD, which they were selling for $35. We opted not to buy that one.

The money bled out of us from the dance class was obnoxious, but it could have been worthwhile with a nice return.

With the T-ball, parents are encouraged to help out with the team. Parents go out on the field with their children and help to get the kids lined up in the right place and help make sure their kids do not run after every ball. Parents coach first and third base. Parents organize a snack list, with a different parent bringing drinks and snack to each game.

But with dance class, parents were an annoyance. We were expected to have our child at the studio 15 minutes early. When time came for class to start, an instructor poked her head out far enough so that her voice could be heard, yet remain unseen by the parents in the lobby, and she would call for the girls to come into the studio. Parents were not welcome in the studio while the girls practiced. At the end of practice, the girls were sent into the lobby and the next class entered.

Not once did I get a report on how my daughter was doing. Was she paying attention in class? Was she learning her routine? Did she get along with the other kids in the group? I had no idea. But when we were late with a payment, my child came out with a slip of paper reminding us that "tuition" was due.

Now, I am not a friendly guy. I have no interest in having polite conversation with people. But as a consumer, I think I deserved better treatment than what I got from the dance place. A "hello" would have been nice. An update on my daughter's progress was expected. An ounce of civility would have gone a long way towards me having a better opinion of the entire operation.

But what really pushed me over the edge was when the dance studio wanted all of the girls to show up for pictures in costume with their hair curled and pulled away from their face and wearing makeup! Let me remind you that these were four and five-year old kids. And if that wasn't horrifying enough, the "dance" routines were completely inappropriate for the age level.

To be fair, my daughter's class was the youngest group involved in the recital, but since they had two routines separated by 45 minutes, I had no choice but to watch the older girls "dance." Now if your idea of dancing is prepubescent girls rolling on the floor, gyrating their hips and thrusting out their chests, you would have been in heaven. Me, I considered it to be on the opposite end of the afterlife spectrum.

Mercifully, dance class is over. I feel confident in saying that we will never go back to that particular business ever again. I am not closing the door on dance or cheerleading or gymnastics but it will be with a group that values my daughter as an individual, not as a means of entry to her parents' checkbook.

Meanwhile, T-ball is in full swing. I like how she is encouraged to run and laugh and be a kid. Call me crazy but I'd rather see her play baseball in the dirt and grass than dress up like a hooker. And I think in the long run she will benefit more from being part of a team and learning to take turns and to seize the moment when it is her turn at bat than anything she could possibly pick up in dance class.