Adam Lambert is Everything Wrong with American Idol
Dear American Idol, Please Make it Stop
Every season of idol presents its own amount of suckage, however, this season seems to be fairly high on the suckage scale. I have performed an in-depth analysis (a wine-fueled hour or so) while consulting with some of America's finest television critics (my mom, some gay guys, a 14-year-old niece and my twitter friends) and have come to several important conclusions regarding American Idol Season 8.
My findings:
The Fluff Factor
I understand the producers want to make as much money off this one-trick pony as possible. But come on, your ratings are sagging and you all must have a bathtub filled with dough and diamonds by now. Want to up the ratings, American Idol? Cut the fluff.
The shows are sometimes excruciatingly long. Only fractions of an episode are actual competition footage. The rest is recap after recap, pitiful attempts at creating tension, winners and losers re-singing their songs and cheesy clip montages. Seriously, our attention spans are short these days, and our time is valuable.
The show's producers must think we are all drooling idiots that can't recall what happened last week much less 5 minutes ago. Can it, we remember. And if we don't, we will understand what is going on perfectly fine. There is no reason an elimination show needs to be an hour. We know who stunk up the place and who didn't.
Top 36 vs Top 24
Maybe the unending recaps wouldn't be so painful if they weren't interspersed with replays of the god-awful performances this season has brought us. America does not need to see the top 36 contestants. We understand now, live competition is difficult and very few singers are cut out for it. Save us the pain and put us right to the top 24 next year, I beg you.
In the first of the live elimination shows this season the kids headed home as been achingly predictable. Mercifully the show has axed some of the worst right at the top of the hour. I can see these early exits coming from a mile away. They are the 12 contestants who never would have made it to the top 24 in previous seasons. In other words, they're fluff, earsplitting fluff. Send them packing early next year Idol, and save us and them the torture.
Adam Lambert
Adam is everything wrong with American Idol wrapped in a preening for the camera, winking, cutsey face making dolt. Over-coifed, heavily accessorized and showy without real substance, Lambert is torture for me. I don't want a parade of people that adore themselves when I watch I do, I would watch l- I want to root for the underdog with the great pipes. I want to see the singers build their confidence as the weeks go buy. I want to watch a star blossom, not have one pre-packaged and handed to me. I want to see someone discovered.
I'm not all kittens and rainbows, however. I also want to poke Lambert's smug little face, make him watch his Satisfaction routine on a loop for a week and buy him pant that aren't two sizes too small.
So, my dear American Idol, please take my analysis into consideration when planning Season 9. There will be so much less suckage that way. Please make the suckage stop.
Published by Jessica Pestka
I have a keen interest in all things medical and scientific. View profile
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25 Comments
Post a CommentFirst time watcher of AI this season halfway through so can't really comment on the 36 contestant start format. However, I totally disagree with you dissing Adam and suggest that viewers like you are everything that is wrong with America and our problems with many young people. Open up your mind and your heart to what really matters and clean out the fluff. I don't think you are a very good judge of character because you only look on the surface - I think you could learn a few lessons from the class act that both Adam and Kris are! Adam may not be the voted-in American idol but has certainly proved that he is the very much loved and appreciated world idol!
Who is the idiot who wrote that article? Let me guess, somebody boring narrow minded. I can't believe stuff like this is posted on the net....
Adam Lambert is an excellent singer. I have not seen anybody else on "American Idol" with that type of versatility.
Obviously the idiot that wrote this article needs hearing aids. He wants to hear a contestant go from average to awesome then he has to hear the entire season out before spouting garbage. Adam Lambert has evolved, look back at his audition song and then watch his "Mad World" segment. No doubt there that the man has worked hard to present himself as a credible stage performer. I wonder, did you critique Madonna in her early days when she wore tutus and pranced all over the stage?
Confidence, singing ability, stage presence, versatility, originality, creativity and humility encompass a star. By the way, I was describing Adam Lambert!
Adam is everthing that is right with AI. He oozes talent in every aspect, voice, showmanship, sexuality and persona. Yes he's flamboyant...he's not boring as so many other AI contestants who seem to come from the same cookie cutter mold. This is the best season ever and it is because of Adam Lambert. Adam has brought excitemnet into AI. I personally can't wait until Tuesday nights to see what this guy is going to do next. All of you with your negative comments are just jealous that you can't be as confident with yourself as Adam is with himself. And confidence is a turn-on!!!!!!!
The only thing wrong with American Idol, is not Adam Lambert, but you. The show is trying to crown an idol, someone who will put people in seats at concerts, and from every show that I have watched, right from the first auditions to now, Adam just does that. The man has an incredible voice and to deny that is to prove how little you really know about musical talent. Just take a look at how many critics, who didn't think he would go far, have now changed their tunes. They are willing to admit when a star has risen to the top instead of criticizing one person for the entire show. I think maybe you should start watching Dancing with Stars - that might be an easier job for you to handle.
Adam is a STAR! Period. There's no one like him who is a complete package handsomely wrapped. He's got everything: the vocals, the range that is out of this world, the looks, the appeal, the moves and versatility and everything else. Those of different opinion are either in denial, blind, deaf or not blessed with right judgment.
There is NOTHING mediocre about him unlike the others with good vocals and can sing but that's all.
Adam is a sensation and is the only one so far in this league that has come out of AI, all 8 seasons.
Adam is a stunning looker, a standout singer.
Simply ELECTRIFYING!.
The article was really stupid.Adam wore absolutely no make up and still got a standing O tonight. Are you even watching AT
Yeah. This season really makes you grateful for DVR.
People still on the Danny pimpage thing need to move on. No one likes your boring candidate, so get over it. And Lambert fans who think the DW gambit is a perfect comeback are only proving how shallow people can be.