Addicted to Love

You betcha'!

I'm sure we all know at least one person in our social circles who is addicted to love. They aren't hard to identify. They are the ones who always have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and typically their relationships are short-lived. Then they are on to the next romantic partner. They love being in love.

Can you blame them? No. Who doesn't love being in love? It's one of if not the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Married couples fear losing that in-love feeling. Studies show that the typical in-love feeling lasts only for about two years maximum. After that, the love levels get dialed back down to normal as the couple slogs through the daily grind together.

Low dopamine levels are the key factor behind most addictions. If you look at all the different drugs out there, including the nicotine in cigarettes, you will find that their primary function is to flood the brain with dopamine. Those euphoric feelings can be highly addictive. Once they're gone, the person gets desperate for their next fix. So it stands to reason that some people get addicted to crack, others get addicted to cigarettes, another gets addicted to alcohol, and a large majority of us get addicted to love.

Okay, enough of the technical mumbo jumbo. What in the heck does any of this mean to you?

When you are in love, your brain gets flooded with dopamine, a naturally occurring feel-good chemical. For two years, you could be jacked up on higher than average levels of dopamine. But, as they say, all good things must come to an end. Once your dopamine levels taper off, you may find yourself not really liking your choice of a partner. This is when those so-called cute habits your partner exhibits become annoying flaws. It's possible that while you were high on dopamine, you overlooked a lot of compatibility issues and personality flaws that you normally would never tolerate in a partner.

For the rest of us, we may find ourselves in a hum-drum relationship. It's not a bad relationship, but it could be better. Where did the sparks go??? And can they ever return? You have to wonder if this is as good as it gets for the next 40 or 50 years. That's a long, long time to go feeling just hum-drum!

Just like we all know someone who flits from one romantic partner to the next, we also know a couple who are still crazy in love with each other after ten years of marriage. They never seemed to hit the doldrums that typically set in after a couple of years. They're still so lovey-dovey it makes you queasy, yet jealous at the same time. So what is their secret? And do they also happen to know the meaning of life?

Odds are, these couples who remain in love after years and years do a lot of things together. They are constantly changing things up. If you were to study a whole bunch of them for a year, it would be difficult to detect patterns in their relationship. That's because their pattern is to constantly be doing new and different things. It's great to have a couple of favorite activities, but the fun and excitement comes in trying new things together. Studies have shown that couples who do new things experience higher dopamine levels. Those higher dopamine levels help them retain the initial in-love feelings for their partner. Not to mention, the new activities help keep boredom at bay.

So if you're wondering how to revive the flame with your flame, get out there and do something! Plan to go somewhere neither of you have been - a restaurant, a bed and breakfast, even a new route to walk. It doesn't have to be fancy, just different from the norm. Maybe pack a picnic with some wine and cheese and take it to your favorite park. Or if you're wondering if you should splurge on that exotic vacation, go for it! Money isn't everything, and those wonderful, romantic in-love feelings will last long after the vacation is over.