ADHD and Teen Romance

Lack of Impulse Control
One of the traits associated with combined-type Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD,) impulsiveness can lead a teen to blurt out whatever they are thinking or feeling. There is no internal censor, no filter between their brain and their mouth. Sometimes ADHD teens are popular because they can be the life of the party. But the impulsiveness of ADHD can also lead a teenager to take unhealthy risks or to sabotage love relationships.

Cons of Impulsiveness: A teen with ADHD has a tough time thinking about how the consequences of what they say or do. They may be brutally honest when giving their opinion. They can also overwhelm the listener with grand declarations, endless repetition, or just by talking without stop. Scariest of all for parents, statistics show teens with ADHD are more likely have issues with drinking and drugs, with dangerous driving, and with risky sexual practices.

Pros of Impulsiveness: The ADHD teen may be more willing to take healthy risks such as asking a girl on a date, or telling her he loves her. Rather than playing hard to get, a girl with ADHD may just let a boy know she's interested. She may even do the asking herself. The lack of an internal censor can be a great thing when a girl wants her boyfriend's honest opinion of her outfit, or when a boy wants to know if his girlfriend really likes the idea of spending a date night at the hockey game. The impulsiveness of ADHD can eliminate the guessing games from a love relationship, and the ability to act spontaneously helps keep the romance fresh.

Parenting the Impulsive Teen
Parents should encourage their ADHD teen to think about how the other person will feel before they speak. Teach tact and turn-taking in conversation at a young age, and reinforce these skills during the teen years. You'll find they make it easier for you to communicate with your teenager, even in the midst of a romantic crisis.

An impulsive teen may be planning the wedding before she has even had her first date with a new romantic partner. It takes practice for the ADHD teen to learn how to channel all the excitement that bubbles up inside. Help keep things real in the relationship by placing the emphasis on the here and now. A white wedding is a great thing to hope for one day, but for now maybe it's best to enjoy simple pleasures of being in love.

Encourage your teenager to give into the impulse to watch a sunset with his love, or to put some of his energy into making the perfect picnic lunch for her. Classic romantic gestures appeal to the ADHD teen, and these familiar rituals can be turned into a surprise that feeds the need for excitement in a safe way. The bonus is most old-fashioned date ideas are likely to be parent-approved.

Sources
"Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)." Nation Institutes of Mental Health

"The costs of not treating ADHD." ADD Health and Wellness Centers

"Helping teens with ADHD navigate romantic relationships." Talisman Programs (CRC Health Group)