Adjusting to a Newborn Baby

She was finally here! I felt as if I had been pregnant for years--finally after ten (yes it's really ten and not nine) months my precious bundle of joy was here. I could hardly believe it as I looked at that tiny face, but I was so out of it that this moment was not as I had pictured it. I've read since having my baby that the first day or two is not how you may have envisioned it, and for me that was true. I was overjoyed, no doubt about that, but just recovering from a C-section and still being on magnesium to help with my crazy high blood pressure didn't make this a Hallmark moment.

No matter what your circumstance, meeting your new little one is the most memorable moment of your life. I will say however that the days following are a blur and filled with highs and lows. When you're in the hospital and recovering from whatever type of birthing experience you had, you start to feel good and get the confidence that you can do this. You will forget later that this confidence comes from the fact that there is round-the-clock nurses there to help as well as a daily visit from your pediatrician. By the time you get to discharge you are ready to get out of that place and get to the comforts of your own home--that is until you realize that they are sending you home with this baby and you haven't a clue what to do.

Thankfully my mom stayed with us for awhile after we had the baby, and that was a blessing. It's amazing how scared you are to do the simple and most basic things like feeding, changing a diaper, or dressing your little one. Bath time--forget it, though these tiny little babies are quite resilient, you'll be nervous to even get near them with a washcloth. It's okay to be scared, it's okay to be nervous--just keep telling yourself that this is new and you need time to adjust.

I remember feeling totally overwhelmed and as if I was in a daze. Looking back I felt completely detached from reality, I was in this little bubble and my only purpose (as it should be) was caring for this baby--oh yeah and getting my body healed from major surgery. There were moments of laughter, of tears, of absolute fear, of thinking that I would never be able to drive and take this baby out, and even of how will I function day in and out when everyone leaves me. I was petrified that I wouldn't know what to do with my tiny little baby--and I put some crazy pressure on myself feeling as though this should all come naturally to me.

If I can give any advice to a new mom it's to allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel, and to ask for help. I'm a pretty independent person so the thought of having somebody help me get into the shower or bring me a glass of water, much less help me to care for the baby, felt so strange. I am usually in control, composed (most of the time), and trying to help others. So now that I was faced with this new chapter full of crazy new responsibilities I had to adjust my whole mindset. I called friends when I felt up to it, not only to ask for advice but to just talk. There is no shame in feeling a wide range of emotions, even sadness sometimes. The baby blues are common and just about every mother I know went through this very real phase at one time or another--if it gets to be too much or you can't function, then it may be time to talk to somebody about postpartum depression, and that too has become common and something that you can get help for.

Don't beat yourself up if the birth of your child has some dips in the road. If you're anything like me you envisioned this moment to be nothing but joy, and while it is miraculous and the start to the most wonderful chapter of your life, it will have moments that may seem anything but joyful. Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel without any guilt, talk to other moms who have gone through this and can offer you insight or just a listening ear, and ask for help. Though motherhood is the most wonderful blessing in the world and you are in for a truly joyful ride, the adjustment to a new baby can have some rough patches.