Adoption and Disclosure

Disclosure in adoptive families occurs at different times. Each family decides what is best for them and when it should take place. The common thought is to tell a child from a young age, between 2 and 4. It is believed that although a child would be too young to understand the concept of adoption, he or she has just as much of a right to know how they came into a family as a biological child (Sailor, 2004, p. 121).

In certain cases, disclosure must happen at a young age. For example, if the child is from a noticeably different cultural background then disclosure must take place early. I can recall when my cousin was adopted from Korea. He obviously looked different from the rest of us and as a result, was told from a young age that he was adopted. "Knowledge of their heredity and cultural heritage can help them in their identity and resolve many questions" (Sailor, 2004, p.122).

In cases where the child looks like a part of the adoptive family, the issue of disclosure is trickier. As was mentioned in our discussion panel, safety was a major concern. The adoptive parents were unsure of whether or not the biological parents would pose a threat to the children. In this case, it makes sense to wait until the child is older for disclosure. However, the adoptive parents should still be prepared to deal with the possibility of their child wanting to find out about their biological parents. "I never felt a loneliness or a longing for this unknown parent. I have two incredible parents and a great brother. But I was always curious," John Harding said in reference to his adoption (Jones, 2008).

If safety is not a concern of the adoptive parents, then I agree that disclosure should occur at a young age. Sailor was right when she stated that an adopted child has a right to know how they came to be a member of the family. The adoptive parents may fear that the child will push them away in search of their biological parents, but this is a risk they decided to take when they agreed to adoption. However, if there is open communication in the family, then the adopted child is likely to be more at peace with the family. "No one can ever replace my dad," Harding stated in reference to his adoptive father, after he had contacted his biological father (Jones, 2008). Communication is the key to any successful relationship, and this is especially true of the adoptive family.

References

2. Sailor, D. (2004). Supporting children in their home, school, and community. Boston: Pearson Education, Inc.

• Jones, O. (September 8 2008). The son I never knew. People. (New York: 2002). 70(10), 97-8.