Adoption - My Story

My biological mother of age 16 gave up her maternal rights to my twin sister and me and placed us into the foster care programs at the age of 1 year old. The year was 1987 and the children and youth systems were not as organized as they are today. Our case worker misunderstood the placement ruling of my sister and me and placed my sister into one foster home and me into another. Although it was only for a week, who in their right mind would split up twin sisters at such a young age? My sister Jennifer went to a home located in Seward Pennsylvania and to a home in Johnstown Pennsylvania. Jen's foster mother was outraged at the unfortunate mistake this particular case worker had made and began frantically making phone calls to ensure that we would be together in her home, even if it might happen to be for a short while. A week later I reunited with my sister in the home of her foster parents.

Enjoying our time spent with our new foster family, of 2 parents and two siblings both girls who were 7 and 8 years old. This particular foster family, treated us like we were their own children, spoiling us, showering us with gifts, showing us off, providing us with the love and nurturing needs we were neglected as infants.

The year was now 1988. My foster mother gets a call from our case worker who informs her of another sibling of ours who has just entered the foster care system to the agencies knowledge. At that present time and year, Children and youth did not have the specific guidelines as they do now, for putting siblings into the same foster or adoptive homes and that is why my brother was placed just like I was at first into a different foster home. Yet again, my foster mother frantically made the necessary phone calls to get my brother placed in her home to reunite with his twin sisters. Finally making it into our home, we were a family again!

My foster parents decided they did not want this situation of splitting up this young family to happen again, and loving us all as their own they decided they wanted to adopt us.

The year was 1990. After 2 long years of paper work, financial needs, court orders and processing the day finally came for the adoption process of my brother, sister and I do begin. My sister and I age 4, my brother age 3, where now adopted into the Lichtenfels family!

Over the years, as new developmental issues became pressing the question and answer game from us children became an everyday conversation relating to who are biological parents were.

My Adopted parents being very open with the subject told us everything we were allowed to know at the present time and reminded us that at the age of 18 if we were still interested in contacting our biological parents they would assist us in every way possible.

The year was 2005. Nov 5^th 2005 the date my sister and I turn 18. To our surprise on this day, we got an unexpected phone call from a lady named Marry. As it turns out the call was from our biological maternal grandmother, wanting to know if we would like to meet with her and some other family members. My adoptive parents said that it would alright with them and discussed with us what to expect and to prepare ourselves emotionally for we might not like what we see or hear when it came time to meeting part of our biological family members.

The talks and emotional preparation our adopted mother and father gave us prior to meeting our biological family would turn out, not to be enough to prepare us for the visit we had. Knowing now what I didn't know then, I would have waited until I was more emotionally stable as an adult to have this meeting for at 18 I will admit now I was a naive child.

Establishing a meeting a common place in town just to be on the safe side, in all reality we did not know these people or their motives for the meeting. My sister brother and I waited inside the place of work of Jen who gladly agreed to accommodate us with food, drink, and the proper setting and supervision for this emotional meeting. As if came down to the time of arrival for our biological family, I get a phone call from Mary the biological grandmother saying they did not know where they were or the direction they needed to head to meet us at our location. Turns out they were in the right place just a few building away at the local gas station.

Nothing in the world could prepare my sister and me for the first initial shock we got upon meeting these people! Walking across the street to guide our biological Grandmother and her family in the right direction, my sister and I having no idea what these people look like, we spot two cars filled with people, and from our better judgment were not the kind of people we were use to. They were very low maintenance people, kind of scraggly looking, poor appearance, teeth missing, the whole nine yards. My sister and I at the same time look at each other and said, "Oh my please lord, don't let this be who we are suppose to be meeting here". To our in directed disappointment they were in fact the people we were going to meet.

Our first impression of these people was not false unfortunately. Disappointment ran through our minds, bodies and souls as we learned more about our biological family throughout our meeting. Illiterate, Ignorant, people is who they were.

As our meeting with our biological family was not what we thought it would turn out to be, our adoptive parents at the time knew what we were going to expect but wanted us to experience it for ourselves and not just by hear say from them. The disappointment was unbearable and that is why I had stated in an earlier paragraph, I wish I had been more emotionally stable and older before we had done this meeting.

The only good thing that came out of that meeting was the new found appreciation I had for my adoptive parents. Knowing what kind of family we had come from and what issues they might face with us as we became older, they put that all aside and still decided they wanted us to be part of their family, and for that I am eternally grateful, for they have provided us with a life we would have never dreamed of, if we hadn't been adopted.