Adoption and Teen Pregnancy: It's an Option to Consider for Unplanned Pregnancies

As with any trend, when something is popular people are led to believe it is the only way to go about it, and not presented with other, more viable options. In many parts of the United States where teenaged girls having, keeping and raising babies is considered to be without-question acceptable, they are not given the facts about the alternative: placing one's newborn for adoption.

There is virtually no situation in which an unmarried teenage girl fares best by keeping her child, and virtually no situation in which doing so is in the child's best interests. Placing far too much emphasis on "rights" and on what is "popular" makes it too easy to dismiss the very-real drawbacks of such situations.

The first possible scenario of a teenaged girl keeping her baby is that she may live with her parents or other adult family members. In this type of situation there are two main drawbacks: first, the "adults" will generally assume responsibility for her child; but even worse, and what few recognize as a serious problem, this type of situation will create confusion for the child and likely generate animosity between the girl and the adults-- a small child who is residing with his mother's parents, grandparents, etc., will be in the confusing position of not readily understanding who has the "say," who to listen to, which person to go to-- for in such an intergenerational enmeshment, the child does not have clearly-defined roles for the people who are in his life. The girl herself may find frequent disagreements surrounding authority roles-- as she is not the head of her household, she is not only reduced to the status of "child" herself, but also expected to live by the adults' terms.

The scenario which, although not as common as it was in the past, still occurs at an alarming rate, is that of a quick marriage. While in the past most people did not recognize how destructive this "solution" was to all concerned, it is even more of a problem these days, when an even chance at life includes a solid education. In the past, if a young couple dropped out of high school to begin married life with an instant family, the economic burden was not nearly as overwhelming as the present. In addition, when prodding teens into too-quick, too-early marriage, adults failed to understand how serious a toll this move would make on the emotional state of the teenagers who were in no way prepared to make fast, permanent, and usually forced, changes in their lives.

The most popular scenario these days are the girls who become "single mothers." While the consequences to a girl's own life should be obvious-- cutting short her youth and necessary growing-up experiences, setting aside plans for continuing education-- there are other drawbacks which are not generally addressed. First and foremost is the care of her child. Contrary to widespread misconceptions, if a young unwed mother "goes on welfare," this is not a ticket to either laziness or the freedom to be responsible for the child's everyday care. Upon former President Reagan's insistence that no one should "be allowed to be dependent on the welfare system," a girl who applies for "help" will be told to place her infant in daycare and "go to work." If she becomes entangled in the welfare system, she is essentially giving up her right and freedom to be her child's primary caregiver.

The scenarios of "single teenaged mother" also backfire for the single teenaged father. When neither marriage nor a common sense degree of maturity are considered essential in parenting, parenting takes on an entirely different perspective for the boys, also. He may be the girl's "live-in"-- with none of the responsibilities nor full commitment to either the girl or the child; or, equally disastrous, may find himself relegated to the position of "absent father" where the word "father" is given to mean child-support which he cannot afford and "rights" which he has not earned.

For a teenaged girl who finds herself pregnant, placing her baby for adoption should be encouraged as being the best decision.