Adult Temper Tantrums: When It's Truly Time to Grow Up

It can be seen in almost any grocery store at any time. If not seen, it can certainly be heard six aisles over. It is a child throwing a temper tantrum. A 3-year-old child kicking, screaming and turning red in the face is an ugly sight. It isn't any prettier when it is a 30-year-old doing it. When it's a child pitching the fit, people cluck their tongues and say the mother ought to do something about that kid. But who is supposed to do something about adults who throw temper tantrums? What is supposed to be done?

I was waiting for service in a store when the woman in front of me erupted in a torrent of shrieking abuse. She was an attractive, well-dressed, professional woman, but right then she just looked ugly. The manager showed up and placated her. I found myself getting annoyed about this.

The woman with her temper tantrum, because that is exactly what it was, had caused everyone else to be delayed. Then she got her way. She was rewarded for her bad behavior. This reward for her bad behavior only insured she'd do it again. She needed to be sent to the end of the line the way we do with children when they act like that.

When got home and watched the evening news there were two stories about adult temper tantrums. One story was about a case of road rage where a driver rammed his vehicle into the car of a woman who'd done something to upset him. In this instance he was charged with Endangerment of a Child. I hope the fine is significant enough to make him think twice before acting like that again.

The next story was about a woman who threw her temper tantrum because, being late to the airport, she'd not been able to board her plane. Despite the airline booking her immediately on the next flight out she pitched such a fit that security ended up handcuffing her and putting her in a holding cell. In the cell she apparently continued her temper fit to such a degree she choked herself with the handcuffs. That was a high price to pay because she didn't get her way.

When did it become acceptable in our society for adults to act like three year olds? When did we start rewarding those who behave in such a manner so they would continue with such behavior? More to the point what can we do about it?

The most important thing we can do when an adult is having a temper tantrum is to not reward them by yielding to their demands. This is easy to say, but hard and even dangerous to do. If someone is trying to run you off the road do you stay in place and try to duke it out with them? Hardly. In this case, getting out of their way, noting their license number, and calling 911 are your best defenses.

Store managers are motivated by trying to maintain good customer relations, but they need to consider all their customers. The customer throwing the tantrum needs to be dealt with, but those who are being inconvenienced by the rude person should be considered as well. Is it really worth it to placate that off-the-wall customer only to lose five waiting in line behind her?

While time out is an effective method of dealing with an out-of-control child it needs to be remembered that when a child is having a temper tantrum you never leave them unsupervised. If an adult has been put in "time out" then those in charge do need to keep an eye on the person simply because such people aren't thinking any better than a three year old during meltdown is.

It is time for society to penalize those who are behaving like small children. Our world is too complex and crowded to let these big children make life miserable for the rest of us. Fines, slowed service and even placing them in custody until they regain control of themselves are ways to deal with the problem, but we need to police ourselves as well and make sure we aren't part of the problem.