Adultery, Lies, and Deceit

Affairs much to often leave the innocent party hurting more. There are many who see this as "not a big deal" and tell the offended spouse to just move on, and forget about it (including the offending party). It's not that easy by a long shot. It's never easy when the one's that are supposed to love us, turn out to be adulterers, liars, or abusers.

It's a hard thing to deal with after we've found who we thought was the one for us, our dream mate. It happens though. It is something you have to face, and you need to cope, move on and be happy with you. This can be the biggest hurdle, being happy for you and only you without a mate or a partner. It is a long journey, but worth it in so many ways after you've reached the end of it, the light at the end of the tunnel.

There is no band aid, or magic words that will make the pain end. Part of your journey is learning to move ahead. To cope, and eventually overcome. It's the hardest of the healing process, but quite possibly the most enlightening.

Realize that you not the problem. Your partners actions are. You are stronger than that, after all you are not the one who stepped out. S/he did. Now, it's about how you cope with the loss of the relationship that is important. Revenge may be very tempting, but do not lower yourself. The "high" you might get is only shallow, and it's definitely not worth jail or worse. In the end either way, the best "revenge" you could ever get is coming out the other end of the tunnel a better person.

Do not talk about your ex especially to children. As horrible as their actions were, do not talk negatively about you ex. The separation of parents can be highly traumatic for children, and if you are talking that way the only purpose it will serve is to make your kids suffer more. This is a very adult concept, they do not need details, at all. They need to know they are not at fault and they need extra love. Children tend to blame themselves for their parents being upset, even if you cannot possibly see a way they could do it, they will. You need to be happy and healthy for them.

Remember, you are strong and you can do this!