Advantages and Disadvantages of Tandem Nursing

So I got through this last pregnancy with my toddlers' nursing still going strong. Excited to tandem nurse for the first time, but yet a little nervous as to how it would really work out.

Tandem nursing is the term used for breastfeeding more than one child. Not necessarily at the same time, literally possible though since nature gave us two breasts. Mom's who have twins tandem nurse as do those with two children close in age where the older one is still breastfeeding. The latter is my situation.

I got pregnant the fourth (yes fourth!) time when my third child was about 16 months. He was also the first one who nursed past his first birthday as I had since discovered the many benefits of extended breastfeeding plus the fact that he had an intolerance to cow's milk. Luckily my milk didn't completely dry up during pregnancy though during the second trimester it significantly decreased. My toddler didn't seem to mind and kept asking for his num-nums. Colostrum was soon present at the beginning of the third trimester and he was happy that something was coming out. Despite the soreness and annoying touched out feeling I experienced, I'm glad we trucked on and made it. If he had self-weaned I would have felt bad for getting pregnant so soon yet it would have made things somewhat easier but alas that didn't occur.

So the baby arrives and I have a now 25 month old nursling as well. He was and is not night-weaned so I worried about my stay in the hospital. If I wasn't having yet another c-section I would have happily stayed home in my own bed and been able to nurse him on demand. But being a hospital birth, my barely two year old went to stay with his grandma for a few days. He actually did really well. Which was surprising since lately he had been nursing frequently similar to a newborn (and driving me crazy!). The baby was born early in the morning and my toddler came to visit with his siblings in the afternoon. He met his new brother and explored the hospital room but not once did he ask to nurse. Weird, but I went with it and wondered if this life changing event and our separation would cause him to wean. It didn't though and that night he went to sleep at his grandma's house without nursing. I was told he didn't cry for it or for me which was not what I expected but was definitely happy to hear. The next day he did climb up into my hospital bed and ask to nurse so I knew then he wasn't ready to wean.

Now on to what I am enjoying about breastfeeding two. I love that I have a way to comfort both my newborn and my toddler. I can't imagine calming my two year old down in the middle of the night any other way. I love that he doesn't feel completely replaced by this new baby since he is still able to nurse as he has, just that he needs to wait his turn at times or stay on "his" side. I love that when I am nursing them together my toddler will grasp my newborns hand and stare at him. I love that I was able to make my goal of breast-feeding until at least two years and that my son is getting the many health and emotional benefits of extended nursing. I loved that when I was engorged those first few days I had a more than willing toddler to help relieve my pain. I think he was a little too excited that first week when he discovered there was actually a good amount of milk again.

What I am not enjoying about tandem nursing: For one I am touched out. I feel like someone always wants to be nursing and at times it is driving me nuts. Please just get away from me!! That's how I feel at times. I also stressed about my newborn's weight gain the first couple of weeks and wondered if my toddler was taking all his milk, or the fatty hind milk. I hate telling my 2 year old no he can't continue to nurse because he needs to save some for his brother, I wonder how that makes him feels towards the new baby. I do not enjoy waking up multiple times a night. Obviously newborns wake to feed every so many hours but with two nursing and neither sleeping thru the night I am exhausted. I haven't yet mastered feeding both of them at the same time laying down so often one cries while the other finishes. Most of the time they are both awake and wanting to nurse at the same time and if not then it's one after the other throughout the night, thus why I am very sleep deprived 5 weeks into it. I am annoyed at how often my two year old wants to nurse and how almost every time he sees the baby eating, he decides he wants to as well.

So there it is, some of my thoughts on the good and bad of my first month tandem nursing. I'm sure I will feel somewhat similar the next few months and as much as I want to continue to nurse both of them, I wouldn't mind if my toddler would cut down on his nursing sessions, and if he would sleep all night I would be oh-so-happy. But I do enjoy certain aspects and I know that I am doing what is in the best interest of my children, even if it is more difficult for me. Hey, they are only little once and it goes way to fast. Someday I will sleep again.