Adventures in Finding (and Keeping) a Great Babysitter

Take 1: Stacey plays with the baby while I work in my home office. I hear giggles, and am thrilled that I have found someone to care for him for a few hours while I work. But at the next scheduled time she doesn't show up, and doesn't return phone calls.

Take 2: Maria watches my toddler during an appointment. My toddler tells me she let him watch TV, which is not allowed. I don't call her again.

Take 3: Emily plays with the two boys on the floor. My living room is filled with blanket forts, book piles, truck parades, and a special activity area for the baby. She tells elaborate stories while changing a diaper. She arrives a few minutes early for every sitting job, and calls to confirm if she is unsure when I need her. The boys grin when she comes in the door.

No one loves and takes care of your children like you do, but having a trusted babysitter to watch your kids is a godsend. Whether you need a babysitter on a regular basis while you work, for an occasional night out, to run errands, or go to an appointment, having a reliable sitter who you can count on when you need him or her will make it easier to leave.

A great babysitter has experience with children and fits into your household. He or she will take excellent care of your children, follow the house rules, show up on time, and let you know if something comes up. Finding this person can be challenging, but is well worth the effort.

Finding a Sitter
Word of mouth is the preferred way to find a babysitter because you get a direct referral from someone you trust. Ask friends, family members, and neighbors who they use to watch their children, and what they like best about them. If no one has a recommendation, there are other ways to find a good babysitter.

Post fliers at youth centers, churches or synagogues, call the student employment service at the local college or high school, or put an ad on an on-line bulletin board like www.craigslist.org.

On-line services such as www.sittercity.com and www.babysitters.com connect parents and potential sitters. Most charge a fee for parents to either post jobs or contact potential babysitters.

The indirect methods are riskier because you do not have direct knowledge about the prospective candidates, which means you need to take greater care interviewing prospective candidates and checking references. The questions you ask will depend on what kind of caregiver you are interviewing - what you ask a teenager is different than a college student. However, finding an amazing sitter through these methods is possible.

The Interview Process
Just like anything else, finding the right fit is important. Every babysitter interview should include basic questions such as "What kind of experience do you have?" and "How much do you charge and when are you available?" and should also include less obvious questions that give you insight into what this person is like.

Ask open-ended questions like "What do you like best about babysitting?" and "What do you typically do with children?" that spark a conversation about what you are looking for and help you determine if you are compatible. Don't discount the possibility of a male babysitter. There are certainly many benefits to a male sitter, particularly for boys, and he may be patient, creative, and playful with your children.

Additionally, watch how he or she interacts with your child. Does the sitter get down at your child's level, try to engage him with blocks, or just talk to you? How your child responds to the babysitter, especially if you are not in immediate eyesight, will tell you how she interacts with your children. The babysitter with the most experience may not be the right person for your family and this is a time to go with your instincts. A "trial period" of 1-3 visits is a good way to eliminate future surprises, particularly if you are looking to hire the babysitter on a regular basis.

Keeping a Sitter
Once you've found a babysitter (or two) who both you and your children adore, you want to keep him or her. Be upfront about house rules (i.e. no friends over, no smoking, etc.), what you expect from him or her, and provide as much direction as possible (i.e. give the children dinner, read three stories, sing one lullaby, and then leave the room). Talk to your children about your expectation of their behavior before the babysitter comes. If your child is too young to understand, reassure him that you will come back and that the sitter will take good care of him. Tell your sitter what behaviors to expect from your child (i.e. separation anxiety with a baby) and give her ideas of what works best to calm her down. Also, providing a written copy of your child's daily schedule, likes and dislikes, and any tips to make their time easier creates good will and a guiding reference.

Treating him or her with respect and courtesy goes a long way toward establishing a lasting relationship. Everyone enjoys compliments. Tell your sitter how your children like having him or her over and be as specific as possible so your sincerity is obvious. If a problem arises, address it directly and calmly, give your babysitter a chance to respond and/or explain, and then move on. Additionally, if you have to cancel, respect your babysitter's time and give as much notice as possible. Putting your money where your mouth is also helps, so throw in an occasional generous tip to express your gratitude. If you cancel for a regular time, consider paying him or her a portion of what you would have as this will encourage loyalty and reciprocity with your babysitter.

A good babysitter is a must-have for most families. By Take 3 we got it right. Emily is a regular fixture at our house, the boys love her, and we have a babysitter we can trust and count on.