Adventures on Two Feet: The Red Reptile Stilettos

Talk about vamping it up! These vinyl heels remind me of something an incredibly risqué 1940's dame would don while swaying her buxom self down a lonely city street after-hours. Despite this mental image (or maybe because of it???), I actually plan to strut into church with these babies tomorrow for my 11:00 mass at Sacred Heart. It's a relatively low-key place so I'll be able to get away with it. After all, if other chicks have the nerve to walk in with revealing hoochie halter dresses, then I doubt my pin-up girl pumps will offend anyone too much. What's a little toe cleavage, anyway? I guess it depends on who you ask...

But my "obscene" church outfits remain another topic completely. Now lemme dish about these shoes: I snagged these faux reptile skin heels at a gallery-turned-yard sale (I'll explain!) for a mere $3. That's right, for the same price as three Double Cheeseburgers off of McDonald's Dollar Menu, I purchased pumps that would sell at least $20 retail. I was scrambling to my dorm after a heavy rain, desperate to change my soaked clothes, when I approached Henry Street Gallery on 422 West Broad. Now I'm not in the habit of stopping by every open art gallery in my path (especially since there are numerous ones in Richmond) but this one caught my eye because of the large sign outside its door: YARD SALE TODAY. The owners emptied out the whole space and jammed it with old clothes, shoes, jewelry, books, prints, hats, scarves, and other items, some more battered than the preferred "gently used." But let it be known that mold doesn't discourage me when there's a bargain involved. I clawed through all of the boxes, determined to find something in good condition for a swell price---and I did. There proof's right in front of you.