Advice from Aunt Lottie

"Yeah, gal, let me at 'em."

"Okay, Aunt Lottie. Our first question is from someone who only wants to be known as Exasperated. She wants to know how you get grown kids out of your house who won't work and do nothing to help you around the house?"

"Well, I don't know much about kids 'cause I never really had any, so I may not be the right one to give advice on that problem. But I will say this, it seems to me that if you got somebody loafing in your house just taking up space, while you're taking care of 'em, they ain't the one with the problem. You are. Seems to me, you're the one that raised that loser. I say quit treating 'em like royalty. After all, even an old dog will eventually leave home if you don't feed it."

"That might be a little harsh, Aunt Lottie. After all, when it's your child, it's a little hard to practice that tough love thing."

"She shouldn't have asked me if she didn't want to know. Besides, I think Frustrated or Exasperated or whoever knows what she's got to do, but she just needs someone to tell her. It's always been pretty much my experience that people really know the right thing to do, but it's easier when someone else tells you. What's the next question?"

"The next question is from Cindy Parks, and she wants to know where you like to go on vacation?"

"Oh, I don't know exactly where my favorite place is, but I can tell you that New Orleans is a great place, and where I'll probably be by the time you get all this on the computer. Fred and me are headed out just as soon as we get through. Got my room booked right down there on Bourbon Street. Gonna' party, soon."

"Well, sit back down, Aunt Lottie, because I got one more question for you before you leave. You know, a lot of people are curious about you since I've been writing about you."

"Can't understand that. Ain't nothing real special about me."

"Well, they think you're pretty special, and I was wondering if you'd mind answering a few questions about you and your life, sort of an interview. Of course, it can wait until you get back from New Orleans."

"What people want to know that stuff for? I'm just like most people my age, except maybe I have traveled a bit and met a few people."

"You'd be surprised how different your life is from a lot of people, Aunt Lottie. I think they'd really like to know some of the things you've done and people you've met. How about it, a few personal questions when you get back?"

"Oh, shoot, gal, sure. What'll it hurt. I ain't done nothing that exciting, but if you think those people want to read about it, I guess it'll be okay. But I got to go now 'cause I got to get home and make sure Fred's got his stuff together for our trip. Dang fool probably ain't near ready. You want me to bring you something from down south? I tell you what, I'll bring you some of those beads they throw from the parade. I figure I'll have a ton of 'em after it's all said and done."

"Aunt Lottie, just how exactly do you get those beads?"

She laughed her big "you really don't want to know" laugh and said, "See ya' when I get back, gal."