Relationships of a sexual nature are about more than just intercourse or even the type of sexual activity that is physically incapable of producing offspring. Which brings to mind a very interesting question you should pose the next time someone says that gays should not be married because their unnatural sexuality cannot produce children: shouldn't that mean that barren women, sterile men and any heterosexual couples who engage in oral or anal sex should not be allowed to marry either? But that's another topic for another time. This topic is about enhancing sexuality to make it better.
Sensuality
Sexuality at its peak should be all about sensuality. Sensuality is about the arousal of the senses. When preparing to make love or actually making love, a man should attend to each of his partner's senses. Don't just leave the television on in the background with some idiotic reality TV show contestant trying to become famous by being a bigger moron than Donald Trump. Put on some music that she relaxes her or ignites her. Or, even better, put on some music that stimulates her rhythm while she pleasures you so that at times she can be going wild while other times her body can move in more tranquil ways. Put on some cologne to appeal to her sense of smell or get creative and rub a banana all over your chest. Invest in some incense or scented candles to give the entire room a sensual fragrance. Don't forget to brush your teeth or eat some strawberries or just wash out your mouth with orange scented Listerine. You may think your sexual activity is all about appealing to the sense of touch, but you are probably wrong. Have your lady close her eyes while you kiss every blessed square inch of her body. Run your fingertips up and down her back or thighs.
Invitation to Sex
Foreplay that precedes the act of intercourse can actually begin hours before the big moment. Get up early before she does and write out a collection of notes that you leave hidden around the house in places you know she'll get to. If your sweet lady works, leave the notes in the car or inside her purse. If possible leave the notes actually at her worksite. These invitations to sex don't have to be Stephen King novels; a line or two is all that matters. Heck, you can even get by with just two or three words as long as they are the right words. Start her day off right by letting her know just how much you are looking forward to coming home at night and expressing your love physically.
Communicate
Sexual communication should not be limited to groans, moans and cries of ecstasy. Learn to communicate throughout the entire process. Tell her how beautiful she is, sure, but take some chances. Make a joke or refer to what someone you know is doing at that very moment while you are having the greatest time of your life. Speaking during sex doesn't have to be limited to four letter words. Make the act of sexual congress a time of intense and intimate connection.
Fantasies: Get Over It
Inquire about her unspoken fantasies. This may take a while before she's fully ready to open up and be honest. Women have sexual fantasies that are still not exactly topics for polite conversation with their husbands. This usually stems from the fact that the husband has trouble swallowing the bitter pill that often arrives in the form of female fantasies. Just because she closes her eyes and fantasizes about sex with a celebrity or multiple partners at once or with doing it in public or something much darker doesn't necessarily mean that she actually wants to do it. A fantasy about being dominated by a stranger isn't necessarily a comment on your own masculinity or failures. Take the time to allow her to become comfortable enough to divulge her deepest, darkest sexual fantasies without taking it personally and then respond to the underlying desire that stimulates those fantasies. You just may discover that her fantasies about sex with other men translates into active sexuality with you that taps into your own fantasies.
Published by Timothy Sexton - Featured Contributor in Arts & Entertainment
Timothy Sexton was named this site's very first Writer of the Year. Today he has two daily columns and one weekly column on Yahoo! Movies as well as frequent irregular contributions. Mr. Sexton was twice nam... View profile
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Post a CommentGreat advice!