Advice to Guys on How to Hide Ulcerative Colitis Symptoms When Dating

"All is fair in love and war" should be the axiomatic battle cry for a guy with ulcerative colitis when he is on a date. Guys want to be charming, strong, handsome and determined. The wrong ulcerative colitis flare or symptom at the wrong time can make a guy weak, unattractive and disgusting. Additionally, it can create questions on a date or in any social situation.

How does a guy with ulcerative colitis hide his symptoms?

The best way to hide your symptoms is not to have any. Don't eat four tacos before your date and be surprised when you're making multiple trips to the restroom. The smart thing to do is to eat a small, mild dish (rice might be good) if you're that hungry, with a little water. Stay away from sugar and vegetables. Further, a coating gel such as Mylanta can do wonders. Finally, if you have a medication such as Valium, take it. Good stress can be just as hard on a guy as bad stress, so it helps if a guy with ulcerative colitis doesn't manufacture a lot of gas by getting "knots in his stomach." A mild sedative will help keep things under control by minimizing spasms and will help a guy hide his condition.

The nature and location of the date are extremely important. There has to be access to a restroom. The last thing you want to do is go golfing and have a problem on the seventh hole.

When a guy goes to a movie with his date, he should make sure that they sit on the end of a row and a little farther back in the theater. A guy with ulcerative colitis is going to have trouble hiding his symptoms if he is interrupting the entire theater from the center of a row when enduring multiple symptoms or a flare.

A smart guy will not pick a Mexican restaurant as the place to take his date to eat. Hot salsa can cause untold problems. Further, any restaurant can be a problem for a guy with ulcerative colitis if he eats like a pig. A stuffed stomach creates pressure and is an invitation to problems. In terms of a good choice, certainly Chinese food is great.

Whenever a guy with ulcerative colitis eats out, however, moderation is the key. Let her order first (you should anyway) so she won't feel obligated to starve herself. When I was dating, I found that when I said I didn't have much of an appetite because I was a little nervous, it was usually taken as a compliment. That needs to be the attitude of a guy suffering from ulcerative colitis: Make a negative a positive.

It is always smart to lay groundwork. I would bring flowers at the beginning of the date. I would be very attentive, and I would say that I had been having a little indigestion. So if at any time during the course of the evening I became a little curt or had to go to the restroom, I would say, "Please don't take it personally."

Sooner or later, however, a guy with ulcerative colitis has to face the fact he is not going to go through his dating life without needing to hide symptoms.

When I needed to leave my date's presence, whether urgent or not, here are some of the lines that I used to hide my ulcerative colitis condition:

"You made a comment so touching I didn't want you to see me get emotional."

"I promised work I would give them a call, and I didn't want you to have to listen to boring talk."

"I am very unhappy with the way the service has been, and I wanted to talk to the manager because I wanted this evening to be perfect for us."

"I don't know why, but your presence is so awesome I had to collect myself."

"I thought I lost my wallet, and I panicked."

"The guy next to us seemed to be staring at you, and I had to get my temper under control."

"The guy next to us was glaring at me, and I didn't want to embarrass you by returning the challenge."

"I noticed a stain on my suit."

Anyway, you get the idea. I'm not sure I pulled it off every time but, it was an attempt at minimizing the interference caused by ulcerative colitis symptoms with my date, and that was how I looked at it.

There are a couple of very important points I would like to make in closing. As a guy with ulcerative colitis, you do feel the necessity to hide your symptoms; that doesn't make you less of a man. A guy with ulcerative colitis is typically more sensitive to life in general, which in my opinion (and I know I'm prejudiced) makes him a great guy for a woman to be involved with.

Remember, there are women with ulcerative colitis, too, and you will have more of an arsenal to identify if someone is battling ulcerative colitis symptoms and be more supportive.

Most importantly, ulcerative colitis is a great barometer for a guy. When I dated my wife, I was so happy and at ease that I didn't have one symptom when we went out, and it was the one time in my life that I really looked forward to going out. The moral of the story is to pay attention to your ulcerative colitis in matters of love!

The last piece of information and advice I would share with a guy with ulcerative colitis would be that in a worst-case scenario, if you have a terrible flare on a date and can't hide it, how your date handles it tells you a lot about who she is rather than who you are.

Your ulcerative colitis condition can be a strength as well as a liability, and remember that "All is fair in matters of love and war" for a guy with ulcerative colitis.