Advice for Pregnant Teens: How to Tell Your Parents the Big News

In summer 2004, clothed in an immaculate princess gown I headed out to indulge in my high school prom. Shortly after, draped in all black , a black gown, and black cap with an orange kissed tassel, I enthusiastically walked across the stage to receive a thin piece of paper encased in a leather book ,that suggested my legitimate freedom, still unaware that I was being accompanied by a new life.

I felt that my prayers had been heard and my wish granted, earlier than I expected. So young, so many emotions paraded through my mind threatening to formulate and spew out an explanation to my dear mother. I secretly wished that the parade in my head came out like a well organized band to avoid me seeming like a young, dumb, careless, and irresponsible teen, with no future; that's usually how teen parents are viewed. I knew that no matter how senseless I may seem to my elders and spectators I made a conscious decision and I was not going to continue life without my blessing instead, I decided to adjust my future so that the two of us could fit perfectly inside of it. With a stomach occupied by life and butterflies I decided to tell my mom.

I told my mom over the phone in rushed and choppy words,

"I just threw up."

"Try to lie down."

I paused, and she began to talk to me about her day.

I could hear my heart pounding so hard that it hurt. I was stalling, afraid of her reaction.

"Ma, I have a surprise for you."

"What?"

"I'm going to have a baby."

"What are you serious?"

"Yessss, I already took a pregnancy test."

"Did you plan this? What about money? Babies cost a lot."

"I know, I know, I'll work something out." I said

"Well get dressed and I'll take you to the clinic."

My mother did not take me to the clinic to get an abortion but to rather to get prepared for having my first child and to get educated on having a baby. My mother confessed that she knew that I was pregnant even before I knew that I was, she has been right by my side ever since. My mother was and still is very supportive more than anyone else, about me getting pregnant at 17 and a having my child at 18.

Some young woman and men aren't so fortunate to have accepting and supportive individuals around them just as I had. So, how do you tell your parents, family, or friends that you are expecting a child?

Pick a time to tell loved ones when they are not busy or too stressed so that they can calmly give you their full attention. You should calmly take center stage don't be too aggressive at first, you must present yourself confidently, so that you will seem as though you mean what you say. You must present yourself as sensitive to your loved ones feelings because they are going to be affected by your decision. Tell your parents that you are expecting a child, the decision is final and that you will take full responsibility but will appreciate any help from them. You should be reflective towards parents, meaning that you should probably say something like, "mom or dad, I know that this is not what you wanted for me but I have made a conscious decision to have a child and I will reap all repercussions, I will take responsibility for my child, please stick by my side because I need your support, I want you to be there to see you grandchild grow." You don't have to quote me word for word this is just an example. Your family members will probably react differently; angry, passive, betrayed, disgusted, ashamed, acceptive, or supportive.

You have to be ready to receive all these kinds of emotions but no matter what you do, you must think for yourself and child, you have to do what is best for the both of you. Your family may even say hurtful things to you at first but please do not take it to the heart, move on until they come around. Emphasize to your family that you want them in your life. If they disown you then you need to find support. During pregnancy you need to stay around supportive people. I know it will be hard to place yourself into a family that disagrees with your actions but try to give them some time to come around, but if they take too long ,find support in a friend, a counselor, other teen parents, or in teen parent groups.

Some parents feel as though their children are not equipped to take care of a baby, but you must show them that you are, but you most importantly have to prove to yourself that you will take care of your baby. Enroll yourself into parenting classes, (you might find support and new friends there) read plenty of books on infants and young children, and try, if you are not too sick to take on light,very, very light work where there is not a lot of stress on you so that you may be able to provide for you child for the first few months. I took on a job for almost 8 months to provide for my baby, but when that money runs out you'll need to probably work again and put your bundle in a nursery daycare or find a reliable sitter all in between finishing High School (if you haven't). This you can't do alone so enlist support.

Remember that being a teen or young parent does not disable you from succeeding. You will just have to aim higher and work harder. You must always walk with your head up and be proud of your bundle and be confident in yourself. Be prepared for laughter, tears and happiness. You all can do it. Stay strong.

Tips for Pregnant Teens

1. I encourage High School but if you can not finish than take the proper steps to get you G.E.D., you can not do much without either one of them.

2. I encourage working but if you for some reason can not work and need emergency money for your child you may be eligible to receive Transitional Assistance call your local Department of Transitional Assistance for further information.

3. The W.I.C (women, infants, and children) program provides nutritious foods, nutritional counseling and certain health services for low-income families with children up to 5. Website-http://www.fns.usda.gov/wic/

If you ever feel alone or confused please do email me anytime at, thenewyear07@yahoo.com.