Advice for Resident Stepmoms: Activities to Help You Bond with Your Stepchild

Having had the experience of being a resident stepmom for several years, I've learned firsthand that bonding with a stepchild does not automatically occur just because you happen to live under the same roof. It requires a great deal of effort, creativity and fortitude. The following are a few fun activities that I participated in with my stepchildren over the years. I believe these activities helped to strengthen the bond between us, though we still hit a few bumps in the road every now and then. Keep in mind that prior to choosing any activities to engage in with your stepchild, it is important to consider his or her age and personal interests.

Participating in a Build-A-Bear Workshop

If you're a resident stepmom whose stepchild has a love for stuffed animals, then participating in a Build-A-Bear workshop together should go over quite well. I never knew how "deep" a Build-A-Bear workshop could be until I took my stepchildren to one. The whole process of selecting a bear (there are other animals to choose from as well), giving it a heart, selecting an outfit to reflect its unique personality and taking it home is about as warm and fuzzy as it gets.

Caring for a New Puppy (or Kitten)

Any pet lover can attest to the fact that there is something quite magical about bringing a puppy or kitten home for the first time. This moment is even more special when shared with a child. As a resident stepmom, you can enjoy this moment with your stepchild and care for the puppy or kitten together. My Maltese and my stepson literally grew up together. Both arrived at our home around the same time. They formed their own special bond, but my stepson and I spent a significant amount of time training, grooming and playing with the dog together and the experience definitely brought us closer. This can actually work with just about any pet - as long as it is a pet that your stepchild is interested in.

Creating a Family Scrapbook

Scrapbooking is a personal hobby of mine, so it was of course a pleasure to share that activity with my stepchildren. If your stepchild loves arts and crafts, you can involve them in every phase of scrapbooking, from picking out a book, paper and embellishments to putting it all together to create a wonderful product. Some stores, such as Archiver's, actually have scrapbooking workshops that you can participate in together. My stepchildren were less interested in the mechanics of scrapbooking, but they did enjoy giving me photos and other special items and with their help, I created several scrapbooks to capture special moments that we shared as a family during the years that we lived together.

Decorating the House Together

Whether you want to give your home a whole new look or simply put up holiday decorations, you have a wonderful opportunity as a resident stepmom to include your stepchild in this process. If you are redecorating your entire house, be certain to place special emphasis on your stepchild's bedroom. Involve them in the planning process, take them shopping with you for items such as paint and comforter sets together, and then get to work! This can be an amazingly wonderful (albeit tiring) bonding experience and the start of a new phase in your blended family life.

Participating in a Physical Activity Together

When my stepson was taking karate lessons at the Dojo Karate Academy near our home, I discovered that they also offered kickboxing lessons there and that the classes largely consisted of women. I asked my stepdaughter (who was a teenager at the time) if she wanted to take lessons with me and when she expressed an interest, I signed us up. That ended up being the most physically challenging experience either of us had had in years, but it was also a great way for both of us to let off some steam when we were going through some of our more stressful periods. As a resident stepmom, you can achieve a similar outcome by participating in competitive sports with your stepchild or taking an aerobics or dance class together.

Don't Force It!

If by chance your stepchild is not interested in participating in any activities with you at the present moment, do not despair. You simply need to give it time. The very idea of doing something special with you - apart from Mom and Dad - may cause them to feel overcome with guilt. It is important not to take this too personal. Leave the invitation open for them to accept whenever they are ready. They may come around much sooner than you think!