Advice on Unusual Names

My name is Racheline Maltese, and yes, my parents really named me this. While I don't mind having an unusual name (and it's a name that makes for a great byline), it can definitely provoke some reactions and situations that are somewhat trying.

Here are some tips for when you encounter an unusual name.

Please don't ask why we changed our names. Usually, we didn't. We were just given a unique name by our families. I get asked if I changed my name constantly, because I'm an actor, and it's awkward to have to cheerfully tell casting directors over and over again that actually, this is the name on my birth certificate.

Please don't shorten the name without permission. My name is pronounced Ra-shell-lean, but because of the way it looks, lots of people assume it's Ray-chel-lean. I don't mind correcting the mispronunciation, but I do loathe when people decide to call me Rachel in email or spoken interaction. That's not my name, nor is that even related to how my name sounds. Most importantly, it assumes that my name is a diminutive of Rachel, which it isn't, and that the speaker has the familiarity to grant me a nickname, which they don't (no one who knows me at all would ever call me Rachel).

Needing help with pronunciation is fine, but you've got three tries to get it right. After that, being unable to pronounce my name can just come off as rudeness or being obstinate.

If you want to know more about an unusual name, the best way to ask is without assumption. Don't ask me if I'm a specific ethnicity or if it's a family name. A small compliment or observation and a simple "what's its origin?" works just fine.

Do not ask me if I was traumatized as a child because I have an unusual name. Kids get mocked for all sorts of things all the time, including names both ordinary and extraordinary. Since I'm not cowering in a corner, you can assume I haven't been too badly damaged by having an unusual name. If you have a more specific reason for asking, such as considering giving your own child an unusual name, explain that reasoning and then your question won't seem rude.

If you encounter a name that has associations (such as my last name does with The Maltese Falcon, Maltese dogs and the island of Malta), think before you reference them. Do you have any idea how many times I've been asked if I have the falcon? Or how rude it can sound to say "like the dog?" Or how tiring it is to explain that while my Sicilian family was probably originally from Malta, we don't actually know?

For the record, my parents named me Racheline because my mother wanted to call me Rachel and my father thought it was boring. And no, I don't have a middle name.