Affirmations for Borderliners

In the course of their illness, many people living with borderline personality disorder have convinced themselves that they are unlovable. Borderline brains are hard-wired for rejection. This sense of rejection is often reinforced by constant negative self-talk, and borderliners need to change that. Medications, therapy, and education are crucial in this process.

One way in which the internal self-talk can be changed is through the use of affirmations. Every day, we think between 60,000 to 90,000 thoughts. Of these, roughly 95% are the same thoughts we pretty much think every day. Affirmations can change the direction a borderline's self talk takes by adding concentrated doses of positive messages. Affirmations are brief, positive statements with which we surround ourselves or otherwise bring to the fore of our minds.

There are many ways of using affirmations. You can write them down or print them out, then post them in places where you are bound to see them frequently: right on your bathroom mirror, around your PC monitor, on your car's rear view mirror. Get creative. If you have a long commute to work, why not record some affirmations to tape or CD? With sound mixing software like Audacity, you can even add soothing music to your affirmations. There are many websites that offer "podsafe" music, which can be downloaded for free under very generous licensing arrangements. At their simplest, affirmations can be repeated like mantras. In my own experience, I have found that a single affirmation can be repeated about 1,000 times in a space of 20 to 30 minutes. During that time, other thoughts tend to be pushed out of the mind. That's 20 or more minutes when the mind is filled with healing thoughts.

Affirmations are no substitute for medication and therapy, but under proper supervision, they can be a powerful ancillary.

What follows is a series of affirmations I have written for myself. Feel free to use them as you like.

I can tell the difference between my identity and my disease.

Healing is possible.

Today I choose to focus on healing.

My desire to heal is stronger than my pain.

I am my most powerful ally.

I choose to cultivate a healthy relationship with myself.

I choose to have healthy relationships with others.

I choose to stop and think before I act.

It is healthy to consider the consequences of my actions.

Life is worth living.

I choose to accept myself.

It is okay for others to accept and love me.

I draw my strength from my higher power.

I draw strength from solitude.

I am pleased to be in my own company.

I choose to be kind to myself and others.

I choose to refrain from hurting myself.

I choose to refrain from hurting others.

My sense of worth comes from within.

I only need validation from myself.

I choose to stop and think before I act out of anger.

I choose to investigate the feelings my anger is concealing.

I choose to pay close attention to how my actions affect others.

I choose to make amends.

It is okay to ask others how my actions have affected them.

I walk fearlessly through life.

I am safe.

I accept the generosity of the universe.

I deserve to be treated with kindness.

I am trustworthy.

I choose to love myself.

I choose to love others and I accept both, their virtues and their flaws.

I look forward to getting to know myself.

I love all of myself.