After 6 Years in Iraq: How the War in Iraq Really Affects Our Families

At the time of this writing, the war in Iraq has been going on for over six years. There have been numerous lives lost- over 4,000 U.S. Troops (the exact number varies with each source), the Iraqi civilian death count is estimated to be over 1,250,000 (again, this varies with each source). With casualty numbers so high, it's hard for people to remember that the Iraq War has another form of casualty as well.

The deaths of innocent Iraqis, the deaths of so many Troops- all terrible casualties, that most would argue could have been prevented. Whether one supports the war in Iraq or not, all would agree that the price of war is high- it's no wonder that many question whether we should even be "over there" or not. Political debate aside, it's important to remember that casualties don't always come in the form of death or physical injury.

Family after family has been broken due to the war in Iraq- numerous couples have been split apart, children left without parents for months on end (which can dramatically affect a child's development and emotional well-being). Many families have suffered economic hardship due to the war in Iraq, especially during deployments and with a decline in the economy.

And it isn't just American families who feel the strain and pressure of the war in Iraq, although we probably complain about it more. During the past six years, the families of Iraq have lost loved ones, their homes, their lives have been turned upside down- other countries whose Troops are also occupying Iraq and Afghanistan are also feeling the casualty of the war in Iraq.

For me personally, the war in Iraq has filled my life with an uncertainty that I couldn't imagine before it started. Not to suggest that my own hardship is any worse than anyone else's, but it's been more difficult than I ever imagined. Why? Because I am married to a U.S. Soldier, and he's been deployed for a year and a half. Going from a two-parent household to acting as a single parent has been a difficult switch, and that's just the first of many complications that have arisen due to the War in Iraq.

In the months leading up to deployment, many couples are unable to face the strain that the pending deployment will cause them- this results in more arguments, fighting, and other marital problems. It's not uncommon for couples to separate before or during a deployment. I know that my husband and I were brought to the point of divorce right before his deployment- thankfully, we worked things out, and our marriage is stronger than ever. But some couples are not so lucky.

In those cases, the worst casualty involved is the pain and trauma to children involved. Not only do children have to deal with the fact that one of their parents is going to be gone for a long time (and in a dangerous situation), they also then have to cope with their parents separation and/or divorce. This can cause children to act out, withdraw into themselves, or any other number of expressions of emotional and mental pain. Combined with parental disagreement, stress of deployment, and day-to-day life, this forms a deadly combination to family life as the family knew it.

Fear. That's another side effect of the war in Iraq. Since the beginning of the war, since my husband got his orders to deploy, I've discovered fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of the "what ifs", fear of things being so different once my husband returns that we will never be able to be a "real" family again, and then of course- fear that a major casualty will touch us and our family. Most people will likely agree with me, that fear becomes a primary emotion when war is involved.

Life , as we all knew it, has changed since the beginning of the war in Iraq. This leaves a trail of uncertainty, frustration, fear, and even anger. I know for us, a family directly affected by the war in Iraq, life will never be the same. Which only leaves questions for us, questions that countless others have asked. When will it end? Can we ever go "back to normal" again? Is there a way to heal from this war, and find peace again? And, is it all worth it?

Sources:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,79630,00.html - Fox News, The War on Terror
http://www.iraqbodycount.org/- Iraq Body Count
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/mar/19/iraq - What is the real death toll in Iraq? Jonathan Steele and Suzanne Goldenberg report
http://www.antiwar.com/casualties/- Casualties in Iraq- Antiwar.com