After a Deployment: Tips for Helping Parents and Kids Readjust

Ask any parent who has made it through a military deployment and they will tell you one of the hardest parts is readjusting to life back at home, both for the parents and the children involved. Whether it be just a few months away or a year long deployment getting back into the groove of things can prove to be very difficult. There are tips to help make the process easier and help both kids and parents re-establish their roles and get back to every-day life.

At first most military families will go through a honeymoon phase. This is where everything seems great at first as the parents who were deployed are just happy to be home and see their families and the kids are excited to see their mom or dad. Many families plan special trips or outings when they first get home and it can seem just like a vacation. But generally after a few weeks when things start to get back to normal is when it will start to get rough.

One common mistake that is made is that the parent that was deployed will try to step right in start disciplining the child if they act out. While this may work with young toddlers, when dealing with older children or teenagers, the parent may come across resistance or even some defiance. They have been used to the other parent or family member disciplining them for quite a while. It is a good idea to instead, gradually step back into disciplining the child. This will cut out on confusion and hurt feelings for both the parent and the child involved.

Another problem parents and children who have gone through a deployment may face, particularly with young infants and young toddlers is that the child may not remember the parent. Parents who have been deployed should prepare for this especially if they are coming home to a young toddler between the ages of 12 months to 2 years. While each child will prove to be different, it is important to remember it is a possibility they may act this way. The best way to deal with this is to keep trying to reach out to the child without forcing them to come to the parent. Generally most will find that after a week or so, all is forgotten and the young toddler will be just fine.

Lastly, it is important for both kids and parents to know that it will take a bit of time for things to get back to "normal" or even just a basic routine. Deployments can be long and it may take a while for everyone to get to know each other again. In some cases family counseling may be beneficial. Then all the family members can start to get back to being a family once again and living their lives together happily and healthily.

Sources Cited: My own personal experiences.