Again, On My Own

I find myself smiling through tears welled up from sweet memories held

And unfulfilled hopes of future years.

It's over.

And so the heartbreak begins.

At least, my heart is breaking.

I could never read your love, if it ever existed...

Does your heart ever call out to me as mine does to you?

I thought I heard it once.

Remember that time?

Maybe it was real? Perhaps it was just in my mind-

but I heard you, and I tried to answer your call.

You feared I would not be there to catch you when your emotions caused you to fall-

And so you never did.

You kept your feelings well hid and I resent picking up the slack-

Loving you from the depths of my soul to the essence of my spirit and back

It's exhausting

But I did it.

Just to move you the unmovable and prove to your doubting heart that my love is real.

That our love could be a different kind of "I do" one that transforms the ideal into something brand new.

It's not that I forgot, it's that I never believed the words you spoke were true-those words your actions always seemed to undo.

Then again, you'd probably say the same thing about me as I have about you.

Humph.

It's over.

How could I be so mistaken? Jealousy ruled me. You left me wondering when and who crossed the line between lovers and friends-

Remember, that's where we began.

I wanted to believe in you.

I was wide open, in love alone.

Now, I'm left broken.

Trying to heal and mend...

Again

on my own.