Age Gaps for Siblings is Good for All

There are exceptions to every rule, of course, but in general, spacing one's children a larger-than-average number of years apart does wonders to diminish the difficulties of "sibling rivalry" when plague most families where the children are close together in age.

While coming into the world with the immediate need of learning to share everything may be good in theory, in practice it is more beneficial to both the child himself and to his relationships with his siblings if, for a period of time, he has had his parents' undivided attention, time, and space for his own personal growth.

"Too much, too soon" compulsory sharing of these precious resources often elicits a strong sense of competitiveness between siblings, which can be destructive to their relationship, as well as having negative effects on their individual personalities. This type of unhealthy competitiveness will exacerbate the timid side of one who becomes the "underdog," and aggression in one who would not necessarily have been as aggressive; size, age, and favoritism play a much more decisive part in shaping their personalities than their own inborn nature.

Aside from such practical aspects in favor of spacing, the experience of raising age-spaced children is, to say the least, interesting. It can form a lifelong bond that no one can divide or conquer; and everyday life for parents as well as the children is a mixture of nearly every possibility except boredom. Life is comical, heartwrenching, memorable, inspiring-- but never boring.

For example, if you have two preschoolers with chickenpox, it is likely to be time-consuming and worrisome; but it is an entirely different experience when your six-year-old passes "the pox" on to her sixteen-year-old sibling. Not only do they both find humor in the situation, so do their classmates-- and a decade later they will still be reminiscing and laughing about it.

For both the parents and the kids, age gaps between brothers and sisters seem to make every experience new, fresh, enriching. All the basics of growth-stages, schooling, and even personal interests are colored-- usually in a positive manner-- by the differences in their ages. This gives both children opportunities which they would not otherwise have had-- from socializing with those in their siblings' age groups to mentoring with education to interests in a much wider variety of hobbies and pastimes.

In terms of personal development, individuality, and family life, spacing one's children a number of years apart is definately beneficial to all concerned.