Age Norm Contradictions and Expectations

Age norms are seemingly inevitable, even when we try to turn away from age-behavior associations, we clearly all have ideal ages in which behaviors are expected. Age norms "serve to open up or close off the roles that people of a given chronological age can play" (Hooyman, Kiyak, 2002). One can see examples of age norms nearly everywhere as life progresses. For example, at a certain age children are "supposed to" stop playing with toys, young adults are "supposed to" go to college after high school, elderly individuals aren't "supposed to" engage in sexual activities (this is discouraged by both family and society). While there may be certain things we expect from others as they grow up and take on new roles, age norm rigidity can lead to alienation from friends or family by the participant as those around them feel they are not "acting their age." Furthermore, a loss or acquisition of a new role, and the expectations that accompany them can cause a great deal of stress or discomfort for the individual that does not rise to meet societal expectations.

Elderly individuals are expected to be the "grandparent," however, these days many elderly individuals are stepping up to late parenthood or second parenthood as they take care of their grandchildren. Late adulthood childbirth or adoption is a result of later marriages as individuals place more emphasis on careers in the "normal" marrying years of life. This puts them "out of the norm" as they are spending their supposed golden years on raising a child. Even with the greater prevalence of both of the aforementioned situations, they are still viewed by the greater part of society as being out of the norm and thus hard to understand or relate to. An elderly individual that losses their spouse and begins to date again may also be viewed as acting out of the norm which can lead to pressures from society and family to discontinue the action. However, rarely do age norms take into account that the action may bring relief, companionship, and happiness to the individual in "violation" of it. A widowed individual may need or want the companionship, and while family and society may not see it as age appropriate, the fact is that it isn't harming the community, the individual, so why is it that this new role is discouraged?

In the past far fewer role options were available to the elderly, still today there are fewer than would be desired. However, older individuals are staying in the workplace longer, volunteering in the community, and taking the time to travel or experience other aspects of life that they now have time for. This is a healthier way of viewing individuals in this stage of life. Encouraging the acquisition of new roles and new experiences will inevitably lead to healthier and happier aging individuals. Individuals with a high sense of self worth, and individuals that will be able to look back at their life with the satisfaction of accomplishment. Erikson, a psychologist who developed the "psychosocial model" which explains aging in terms of developmental stages, identifies this stage as stage VIII Ego Integrity versus Despair. In stage VIII, an individual either establishes meaning in their life (who they were, who they are now, and life's accomplishments), or they fall into despair feeling that life is over and was wasted (Hooyman, Kiyak, 2002). Whether or not you subscribe to this theory, ultimately being able to make one's life meaningful is the goal of the greater part of the population. Society and families can help ther loved ones or elderly individuals in the community by encouraging new roles without the stigma of age norms attached to new activities that can help give meaning to one's elderly years.

References:

Hooyman & Kiyak. (2006). Social Gerontology 6^th Edition. Pearson Education Company. Boston, MA.