Ageism and Its Effect on the Psyche

If you're old enough, you remember the phrase: "Don't trust anybody over thirty!"

But at the age of thirty, I hadn't begun to think in terms of aging. Thirty is brilliant! As women, we are at the height of our being. Still having children, smart, full of energy and able to cope with just about anything. That phrase "Don't trust anybody over thirty!" in the United States of America was the beginning of the public ridicule of the natural process of aging - the first accepted Ageism in America.

Next came the TV show "Thirty Something" and along with it other indications that the age of thirty and slightly above was okay, but after that, life was in decline.

I remember that hitting my 40th birthday was exhilarating! I had just discovered an innate talent for sculpting and painting and I was prolific in turning out new pieces week after week. I ran my own sound recording business, and I felt that I could do anything short of spreading my arms and flying into the sky. That lasted for the entire decade - up until the day I got that first piece of mail from AARP.

Most people in our modern society don't feel they are old at 50. But getting that notice from the most accepted Ageism peddler in America places a pall over everything. We already have more aches and pains, have gained a few extra inches around our middles and noticed that our hair is changing color or density - or both. We begin to buy the story that we are of less value now because we are older.

As a woman, I became more introverted at about age 55, for all the above-noted reasons as well as noticing that men no longer turned to look at me when I passed by. Middle-aged women in America are invisible, and that invisibility takes a psychic toll. Our sex drive is already being dashed around by menopausal harmones, and we are scared. Scared of this invisibility. Scared our husbands will leave us.

And then they do.

We are not easily employable. We are not eligible for any benefits. Our children have left the nest and are busy making their own lives. We are thrown away. All the time realizing that we could live into our 90s.

Today I'm a few short months away from the ULTIMATE Ageism in America - Medicare. Don't get me wrong, it will be nice to know that I will have medical care no matter what. Still, I feel as if a time bomb is about to go off inside my mind. How could I have let this happen to me? ME!

I am on the brink of my own psychic extinction because it is impossible to overcome the hype. I'm bright, talented, happily married for the first time, gainfully employed at a job I love doing, but to the rest of the America I am an "old lady."

I'M STILL IN HERE!

My body may be old, but I'm still the same person.

And I CARE how the rest of the world views me. The sensitivity which makes me such a good artist makes me bad at being wrongfully designated a throwaway person.

I want to live in a society which sees my years as a badge of courage and distinction - a society which rewards each year I tack on to my life as a sign of enduring wisdom. I want to live in a society where I am honored as the Sage that I am.