Ah, the Adventures of Cutting Your Very Own Christmas Tree
You Too Can Have Frost Bite, and a Serious Case of Pine Needle Clutter in Your House If You Choose to Brave the Wild and Cut Your Own Perfect Chrismas Tree!
Gone are the days of wandering around the mountains in Colorado, hunting the ever elusive perfect Christmas tree. Dragging it through miles of snow, or so it seemed, to throw it in the truck and head on down the mountain to the house. Good memories in retrospect, however the frozen reality turned out!
It never failed upon returning to the house that "perfect" Christmas tree was about two feet taller than the ceiling and had a bare spot the size of Texas from dragging it for miles (or so it seemed) to the truck.
Anyone who thinks that Christmas trees are expensive to purchase has obviously never had the privilege of cutting one in the mountains of Colorado after driving a couple of hours, freezing your body parts in that "brisk" mountain air while finding, cutting and dragging your perfect Christmas tree for miles through the snow, or so it seemed.
Tree trimming: or how to spend a day setting up a Christmas tree.
Now that you have the tree in the house and pine needles line the floor in a trail from the door, having cut the top or bottom several feet off of that same tree, owing to miss-judging the height of your perfect tree, you are ready to stand it up, or are you?
There are things about setting up a Christmas tree my father never told me, such as the laws of physics those same trees seem to defy, and the miles of wire (or so it seemed) you will need to get said tree to stand proudly upright like the faithful beacon of the holiday it is! Not to mention the chaos it will cause if it falls over when fully decorated....
Another thing on that long list of things to learn the hard way, cats like trees, cats like ornamental bulbs, and cats like to climb trees to get at said bulbs so they can play with them! Few things can light up your life like seeing a cat nearing the top of an eight foot tree, just as the tree begins to fall....
Merry Christmas to everyone!
Published by Thomas H Forthe
A life long passion for reading the written word, a longing to contribute a few of my own, and the agony of being held at arms length by life in all its varying dependencies that refused to allow it for so m... View profile
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9 Comments
Post a CommentI don't feel so bad about my ONE time attempt at this now.
I can picture the cat in the tree and this slow motion nooooooooo as it falls. Ah the adventures of the perfect Christmas tree. LOL
My Grandpa use to shoot our tree out of the ground with his shot gun!!! No patience...
lol, we went to the farm with the intention of cutting our own christmas tree. But when we saw how skinny the saws were and how fat the trunks were, we opted for one that was already cut down.
Tom gets the award for best subheading EVER.
Got to say, the two lazy cats in my house prefer to eat the botom of the tree than climb it. The other morning I found a long and disgusting hairball twisted around pine needles. The Sweety demanded the tree be gone out of concern for the lives of her cats. She usually gets her way, but not this time. I insisted on my right to a Christmas tree exceeded to any right to life the cats may have.
The Sweety backed down when I proposed tieing the cats to the branches with red ribbon and blinking colored lights. Eventually a different solution was found of covering the unplugged tree with a sheet at bedtime.
I've always wanted to do this!
LOL, sounds like quite the adventure. We used to get real trees, but we bought them already cut.
Cats and Christmas trees....Grrrrrr....the worst possible combination! Funny read!