Ain't it Funny How Time Slips Away

The longer I live, the more I realize we're all in the same boat when it comes to hard times in life. The last year has been one of those times for me. I just wanted to let those who care know why I haven't been commenting on their articles or writing any myself.

In August of 2010, our first great-granddaughter was born and she is such a joy to us all. It had been a tense time for the whole family, as our granddaughter, Ashley, had to spend most of the 9 months in bed to avoid a too-early delivery. There was also a danger of the baby having serious birth defects, due to a missing artery in the umbilical cord. Thankfully, all went well, Ainsley arrived on schedule, and from all appearances seems to be a normal, healthy baby.

Ashley's older sister had had a terrible time delivering her son three years earlier, and we feared the worst for Ashley as well. Both are tiny, small-boned girls, and Cara had an 8-pound, 14-ounce boy. But all went well for Ashley, and she delivered so fast her mother didn't even make it to the hospital for the long wait she was expecting. We are so thankful for our wonderful kids, grandkids, and now the great-grandkids as well. God has indeed been good to us!

Less than a month later, on September 18th, my younger bachelor brother, who was 58 at the time, became critically ill and had no one but my husband and me to care for him. We were ready to leave town to visit my husband's sister when I called my brother and realized what a bad shape he was in. We took him to the ER, where they worked on him all day, then transferred him to another hospital across the state line, where they worked on him all night and for two weeks after that. Needless to say, we called off our trip.

Even after he left the hospital and rehab, he was still unable to go home, so had to spend 2 months in a nursing home. Needless to say, that made him very unhappy and I felt a need to see about him every day. We learned a long time ago that a person in a nursing home fares much better if family members pop in often. They kept moving him around from room to room, and at one time had him in a room with an alcoholic who kept his booze in a padlocked, small frig, which was plugged into my brother's one socket. That guy also went outside and smoked and apparently came back inside to exhale. After he threw a drunken tantrum so terrifying (I witnessed it) my brother was afraid to go back in the room, I was able to get him moved to a private room, which was extra expense. Oddly, it had no bathroom in it, which was a problem because my brother was in a wheelchair. Enough said.

While he was away from his apartment, I cleaned it from bottom to top, threw out multiple bags of trash, shampooed the carpet, and brought in the things he needed to live as a disabled person. Right now he is able to live in his apartment, with a little help each day. We still have to help him with his money, and since he had to sell his car, often take him to doctors, etc. There is no taxi or public transportation in our small town, and he is not old enough to qualify for the rides available to the elderly. His phone calls are also sometimes hard to deal with, as a stroke left him unable to think clearly or fast. But that's just a part of life.

In December, I received a letter from my orthopedic surgeon, telling me one of my artificial hips is one of the DePuys that has been recalled. That required x-rays and MRI's to check the stability of the hip, and tests to check the cobalt and chromium levels in my blood. I technically have cobalt poisoning and am now trying to decide how to deal with all the bad things that can do to you. Each blood test requires a 100-mile trip and each doctor's visit is another 400 miles.

On June 10, 2011, my older sister, who was also alone, entered the hospital and never went home again. Fortunately, her only child was able to come from her home in Florida to Oklahoma for almost a month. She would have stayed longer, but was in danger of losing her job. She stayed with my husband and me and one or more of us drove 100 miles every day for about 6 weeks to try to care for my sister. The three of us emptied out her apartment and moved everything to a storage unit in our town.That's easy to say, but in the 110-degree heat we were having at the time, it was one of the hardest jobs any of us has ever done. Hopefully, my niece will be able to move back up this way before too long and can use her mother's things.

Shortly after arriving here, my niece learned that my sister's neighbor, who lived in the other side of her duplex, had gotten her name put on my sister's checking account as "payable on death beneficiary" and was all set up to take not only all her money but everything she owned. It wasn't much, but it was all my sister had to leave her daughter. Fortunately, my niece is a paralegal and knew exactly how to take care of that problem in a hurry. But it did cause us to have to get my sister's aparment cleared out in a hurry, as the neighbor had a key and kept letting herself in and helping herself to my sister's things. Later we learned that a man who claimed to be from her church and started visiting the hospital every day also had designs on her belongings. More on that another time.

My sister died of kidney failure on July 21st after putting up a hard fight. If anything good can be said for such a tragedy, it would be that my sister died at peace with God and everyone else, and we had a wonderful visit with her daughter in spite of the pain and grief involved.

My brother also has serious kidney problems, and that adds to my concern that the high cobalt and chromium levels in my own blood may damage my kidneys. I don't know if there is a hereditary problem here or if it's just coincidence, but it is a reason for concern on my part.

My husband also has one sibling left. She is the oldest and he the youngest of 5 siblings. At 94, she is amazingly independent, living alone 7 hours away from us. We visit her 3 or 4 times a year and my husband tries to help with work around her place that she is unable to do. She usually spends a couple of weeks before Thanksgiving with us and we take her home before the first of December so she can pay her bills. It will soon be time for us to go get her and bring her down. Her only child died of cancer over 10 years ago, so she really has no one anywhere near to help her much.

For now I'm trying to get her room ready and do my fall cleaning in preparation for Thanksgiving. I hope to be able to cook the traditional Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for our family. That's the only time we all seem to be able to get together these days and I will miss it when I can no longer do it.

I'm scheduled to see my doctor again in December, and depending on the results of the blood test to be done prior to that, I hope to learn what he plans to do about my situation. A year is long enough to live with that hanging over my head. What the metallosis isn't doing to me, the stress is.

I hope to find time to do more reading of my friends' articles on AC, but probably won't be commenting much. Sitting at the computer is painful for me right now so I just don't sit here very much. I do appreciate all the views and comments that come my way.

I'd like to wish a Happy Thanksgiving and a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all who read this. Hope to see you more next year!