Al and Tipper Gore-This Means Something

Political junkies everywhere are twisting and turning their fevered brains to find the political significance of the separation of Al and Tipper Gore. Al, of course is the former Vice President of the United States and an unsuccessful candidate for the presidency. Currently, he's received notoriety and acclaim for his climate activism. Tipper Gore is not only famous for being Al Gore's wife, but she has also been involved in politics and activism. After 40 years of marriage, the two have announced that they are separating.

Remember Richard Dreyfus in the movie "Close Encounters of the Third Kind", when he stared at a plate of mashed potatoes and tortured himself, saying "This means something! This is important!". That's the kind of torture pundits, political junkies, bloggers, and media personalities are putting themselves through. "This means something!" they shout as they wander around, trying to match up a big personal event with political ramifications. Unfortunately, there is none. That doesn't stop them from talking about the split-up in a politically charged way.

Think- think- think. Maybe we could say that Al Gore lied to us when he tried to convince us that he and Tipper were madly in love, as evidenced by their passionate kiss at the 2000 Democratic Convention. But that was 10 years ago. What possible significance does it have now?

Perhaps the breakup could be used to embarrass the Gores. Except for the fact that neither one of them is running for office, and the fact that they were the first to announce the separation.

There's gotta be an angle! The best we have so far is to refute the whole notion of Global Warming by referring to the cooling in the Gore's bedroom.

So to the frustrated teabaggers mumbling to themselves, here are a few hints about how to tie this to the former politician you love to hate:

• Send James O'Keefe out to investigate the Gores. Maybe he can prove that the Gores are lying about the separation, and are secretly happily married. This plays into the "Al-Gore-is-such-a-liar-he-invented-the-internet" theme.

• Play clips from the movie "Love Story" to embarrass Mr. Gore.

• Hope and pray for bombshell revelations of an affair-preferably a homosexual one.

In the meantime, get on Facebook. Call your friends. Shout through a megaphone. "This is important! This means something!"