Alcoholism Affects the Whole Family: What the Alcoholic Doesn't See

When someone has a problem with alcohol, it is just as much a problem for those that love and care for him or her. Alcoholism is a family disease. The alcoholic's addiction and behavior affects everyone in the home, family, and in their life. The family suffers severe emotional stress, depression, worry, sadness and anger. They feel helpless. They don't know how to help the alcoholic, what to say or do to make him better, to make him stop. Loved ones wonder, should they give up or stick by the alcoholic no matter what. Then there's guilt for even thinking of abandoning them.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease. The cure is up to the victim and only the victim. Alcoholism is another word for broken promises. They may become violent and out of control. You must learn how to deal with it on your own terms and you must know when to say, "I can't do this anymore." Family therapy may be needed, not only for the alcoholic but for everyone closely involved. The family must and can recover with or without the alcoholic's recovery.

The alcoholic can totally disrupt, even destroy, life for all, and put into action effects that last a lifetime. Spouses and children especially, will have psychological problems. Children may feel to blame, feel lonely, and have low self-esteem. Not to mention the likelihood of passing the behavior along, later in their own lives. School and social lives are negatively impacted. The spouse will develop feelings of losing control of everything.Sadness and worry can turn to hatred. She will have trust issues because of all the lies and promises not kept. The sober spouse also has to play the role of both parents, as the alcoholic can't be dependable. This is stressful and frustrating. There will often be financial and marital problems. Studies have shown that girls who grow up with an alcoholic father are very likely to end up in relationship after relationship with alcoholic men. I had an alcoholic father and every man I've ever cared for has had a drinking problem, despite my trying to avoid it. There must be something to those stats. Also common in alcoholic homes is child abuser neglect, spousal abuse and incest. In closing, the alcoholic has to want help for himself. If he stops for anyone else, it is not going to last. Children should not have to suffer this lifestyle, that turns to an even more vicious life cycle. No one in the alcoholic's life is going to escape unscathed. If there is truly love for the alcoholic, you will try to help them and maybe you can, no doubt you will try as long as you can, but sometimes it is just better to walk away and do all you can to stop the cycle.

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