Alice Cooper: The Best Songs Off of "Welcome 2 My Nightmare"

Alice Cooper is one of the founding fathers of "shock rock" and his new sequel album "Welcome 2 My Nightmare" may shock some of the Cooper faithful with his inclusion of modern pop rock sounds.

The best songs on the album are "Last Man On Earth" and "Something To Remember Me By." I really did not like much else.

"I Am Made of You": Alice comes late to the autotune party. Cool-ish song, but the technology employed is too distracting for me.

"Caffeine": Drug themed Halloween comedy rock.

"The Nightmare Returns": A cute little waste of space. He sings a short rhyme in the style of a scared little kid and it is grin inducing, without eye rolling needed. I guess it is an intro for "A Runaway Train" which opens with a mention of The Nightmare Express.

"A Runaway Train": Punk-a-billy with chugging train instrumentals. Really, this song should just cut the rock theater and become a country song.

"Last Man On Earth": A circus sideshow, burlesque club of the dankest standards song, blumps along to tuba and various sounds that are altogether interesting. This song is fun, entertaining, and just an all around great listen.

"The Congregation": Dull oldies rock.

"I'll Bite Your Face Off": Not funny, not cool, rock sounds like you might expect from ZZ Top.

"Disco Bloodbath Boogie Fever": Terrible. Alice Cooper all but trying to rap to synth led disco music with pirate "yo ho ho" style backing vocals. I was going to say it should have been a duet with Lady Gaga, but she probably has higher standards of weird crap. The song changes gears near the end to try and be an old school metal ride with an axe, but it's a fail, Hail Mary the wrong way and scored one for the enemy.

"Ghouls Gone Wild": Stupid. Think Weird Al doing a Beach Boys track only without the humor.

"Something To Remember Me By": A slow oldies style ballad that veers away from the stupid horror comedy and makes itself relevant and cool by being out of its time period. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and him to literally say what he was leaving her to remember him by, like an STD or something, it never happened, and thus the song is a winner.

"When Hell Comes Home": A fairly creepy, but fully lame song about a bad daddy coming home to do bad things. Of course the kiddo plots revenge, going to put one between his eyes.

"What Baby Wants": Ke$ha guest stars in this song that bounces from retro goofy to modern goofy, but slightly catchy. Meh, two thumbs down, but if baby wanted me to like it I could.

"I Gotta Get Outta Of Here": Jingle jangle turd, shake it out, flush it down.

"The Underture": An instrumental, but I hope this means Alice Cooper is the band name and not just the dude (dude and the band?) because I doubt Alice was running around playing all of the instruments. Put this track on and let the kids grab candy from the bowl. The end.