Alice Roosevelt Longworth: The Irreverent First Daughter

Alice Roosevelt Longworth was the eldest child of President Theodore Roosevelt and the only child he had with his first wife Alice Hathaway Lee, who died shortly after the birth of baby Alice Lee in February of 1884.

The life that Alice led was unconventional and frequently controversial. She was one of the first women to be seen smoking in public and one of the first women in America to drive a car. Often she poked fun at those she considered uptight. Alice became widely known as "Princess Alice" and "Washington's Other Monument". She was also known for having a wicked wit and took pride in the stinging comments she dispensed. Family members were known to suggest that she would rather coin a good phrase than do a good deed.

Many of the biting remarks attributed to Mrs. Longworth were slung at well known Washington politicians.

Of Calvin Coolidge she once said, "He looks as if he were weaned on a pickle".

Her comments on William Taft and Herbert Hoover were not much nicer. Of Taft she said, "He has so much brain and so little beauty." Hoover inspired her to say, "The Hoover Vacuum Cleaner is more exciting than the president. But, of course, it's electric."

Relatives were not immune to Alice's barbs either. She declared that her cousin, Franklin D. Roosevelt, was "One-third sap and two-thirds Eleanor." Even her own father earned the comment from his daughter that, "Father always wants to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding, and the baby at every christening."

The late Senator Joseph McCarthy once took the liberty of calling her by her first name. In response she looked at him icily and declared, "The policeman and the trash man may call me Alice; you.can.not."

Once upon a time Lyndon B. Johnson proudly showed off an abdominal surgery scar and Mrs. Longworth commented dryly, "Thank God it wasn't his prostate."

When Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis married Greek shipping tycoon Aristotle Onassis, the former first daughter asked, "Hasn't anyone ever warned Jacqueline Kennedy about Greeks bearing gifts?"

One of her famous quotes wound up being stitched on a pillow in her reading room. "If you haven't got anything good to say about anyone come and sit by me."

Alice preferred to be called 'Mrs. L" and was also called "Airs. L" by family and close friends. Nieces and nephews called her "Auntie Sister". She often denied that she was responsible for all the one liners that she was credited with and she also denied that she was a wit.

"I'm not witty, I'm funny," she declared.

Along with the dry sense of humor she acquired from her many years as a Washington insider, she also acquired a great bit of wisdom. Many of her comments, some of them detailed below, showed a keen sense of awareness of what life was really about.

"I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development," she once said.

Her philosophy on life was simple as well. "Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."

A woman who played poker with the boys, made illegal hooch in her basement and would deliberately seat a northern liberal next to a southern conservative at a dinner party, Alice Roosevelt Longworth, who was the daughter of a president and the wife of a Speaker of the House, said of herself, "They expect me to wear a halo and I only wear a hat."

Sources:

Knutson, Lawrence L. "Alice Roosevelt Longworth, Wild Thing". June 7, 1999. http://www.salon.com/people/feature/1999/06/07/longworth/

Theodore Roosevelt's Daughter. Roosevelt Almanac. http://www.theodore-roosevelt.com/alice.html

Alice Roosevetl Longworth Quotes. http://thinkexist.com/quotes/alice_roosevelt_longworth/