Almost Goodbye

Let's face it, I'm not the usual blogger. I do things a bit differently in all my media fronts. Two edged sword, the differences are what gained the most attention. But as a "reporter" I find it hard to be objective and report beyond what touches my own heart. It's like having x-ray vision and wearing blinders if that makes any sense at all.

Though I have many pieces of my heart -- recently I almost lost one of them. My 16 year old son was involved in a head on collision. He was on a curvy road, went over too far on the loose gravel on right shoulder, then over corrected into the oncoming lane.

How does this relate to the world of the unidentified?

I got a call from one of the first folks on the scene. Apparently Dillan was conscious enough to give our phone number. I'm sure some of you out there know that heart sick feeling when a teenager has had an accident. This began the strange world of a living nightmare in which we existed until we knew he was going to be OK.

Dillan has a bad habit of leaving his wallet in the seat beside of him rather than in his pocket. So immediately his ID was out of the equation. Someone handed my Dad his wallet while the paramedics secured him for the ambulance ride to air transport. I already had to explain to them that his legal first name is James, like myself. We both use our middle names to prevent confusion, but sometimes it creates more confusion.

We spoke to him very briefly before he was flown to Erlanger Medical Center 100 miles away in Chattanooga. We were told there was possibility of brain damage and he was having trouble breathing. The hardest thing to hear was we could not fly with him in the chopper.

Immediately we ran home in a reckless state of mind and prepared for the 2 hour drive. The longest 2 hours I have ever encountered in my life. En route we called the hospital for an update after we knew he had time to arrive. Oddly they had no one there by the name of Dillan Matthews, nor James Matthews. We tried to put the worst case scenario out of our mind as we know it is difficult to get updates by phone. We did ponder briefly that perhaps he was routed elsewhere and we quickly checked another medical center, but stayed the course to Erlanger. No reason to believe that he had been diverted elsewhere.

Upon arrival we went to juvenile ER and ran into the same problem, no Dillan...no James. Growing frustrated quickly we pressed for more details by searching victims brought in from a car crash. Finally we were told that the adult ER had a Matthew Dillan. That had to be him -- a switch of the name that I had not expected. They didn't have his wallet and must have gotten confused info from Dillan himself.

I was briefly allowed to see him -- not even a full minute. I had to know for sure this was him though to ease that last doubt in our hearts. I cannot describe the mix of emotion when I laid eyes on him -- it was my son for sure. My fear that he had passed away en route was relieved, but the joy was subdued by the uncertain injuries. I let him know I was here and he responded to me, in my heart I knew it was going to be OK, I just had to convince my mind.

As I was ushered out of the ER I was able to let them know the name was wrong, his name was Dillan Matthews and not vice versa. It's amazing how quickly someone can lose their identity during a series of unfortunate events. Under certain conditions and accident could literally leave a John or Jane Doe on one end -- and a missing person on the other end that seemed to have fallen off the face of the Earth.

The moral of the story - have your kids name tattooed on their forehead. (A jest of the extreme of course) But it is important for our young ones to have proper ID and an emergency contact list in their wallet or purse. I like the idea of an ID bracelet with all of the above for smaller children. The experience has certainly made me take a harder look at what I deal with every day --- identity. Take the time to make sure your children have proper ID on them and vital stat info in your hands. Whether it's a medical emergency or missing persons event -- ID info serves a vital role.

My son? Much better than we expected, a few fractures that are healing well and he has returned to school -- minus a car.