Alone and Lonely During the Holidays

The holiday season is once again on display everywhere. Decorations adorn all the homes in your neighborhood except for one. Yours. It sits silently and accusingly in the middle of all the festive lights and Christmas glittery. It looks sad even to you as you arrive home after a long day at work.

So you make your way to the basement and pull out the Christmas decorations. You hang a wreath on the front door and put electric candles in the windows. Well, at least in the windows in the front of the house. There, it doesn't look quite so sad and lonely. You only wish you could say the same for you.

Holidays have steadily gotten sadder and lonelier over the years. After your husband's death, there seemed to be no point in decorating and getting excited about a holiday you would spend alone. It was only during the holidays that you sometimes wonder if you made a mistake by not having children. But at the time, neither of you wanted children. You both just took it for granted that you would have each other forever.

But you'd been alone now for over nine years. Nine years of watching the holidays come and go. Nine years of watching people around you celebrate and enjoy the company of their families. Your only relatives are some cousins you send a Christmas card to. You can't even remember the last time you saw one of them. Oh, sure, you had your co-workers, but you couldn't really call them friends. Everyone kept to themselves in the factory. There was actually little time other than lunch breaks to even talk. And most people spent that time on their cell phones talking to their families.

But this year was going to be different. One day you overheard a co-worker talking about volunteering at the hospital and asked her about it. She explained that the hospitals, nursing homes, and homeless shelters were always asking for volunteers. She said she lived alone, her children were grown, and she just got bored sitting home alone. Boy, talk about sounding familiar.

So the two of you sat down during lunch and she explained more about volunteering. She suggested you go with her to the hospital or to one of the nursing homes on her next trip. Which you did. You were amazed at how delighted the older people in the nursing homes were just to have someone sit down and talk to them. Many of them had families who came by maybe once a week for an hour or two. But these people didn't complain about being alone. In fact, they seem to accept it. But their faces would light up when you and your friend, yes, friend, would sit down to spend a little time with them.

The following week you went to the hospital with your new friend. You spent the day filling water containers and mostly talking to the patients. Everyone in the hospital was so nice. And they really seemed grateful for your time. Even the nurses seemed to appreciate you. By the end of the day, you knew you had found a new reason to enjoy life. Just the thought of helping others made you feel more alive.

Your next venture into volunteering took you to a homeless shelter. This was, to you, actually the saddest of the three places. Here you saw people who didn't even have a bed of their own, much less a home. You heard some of their stories. Many of them had led normal lives for a time. But then some misfortune or maybe an addiction caused them to lose everything, including the will to even try any more. Suddenly, you felt extremely grateful for what you did have.

So this year you have already signed up to spend Christmas Eve at the nursing home. There will be a small celebration and gifts exchanged among the residents. Then you plan on spending the evening visiting with some of the lovely people, just talking, and maybe listening.

Christmas Day will be spent at the homeless shelter. You found out that several of the volunteers who have no families work so that the ones with families can spend the day with their loved ones.

Yes, the holidays may still feel lonely at times, but you don't have to be alone on them. There are so many people out there in need of companionship and friendship. You know that very well. You used to be one of them. You smile as you come out to meet your friend, the one who introduced you to helping others. The two of you have become very good friends. And tonight you're taking a break from volunteering and going Christmas shopping. Your friend has asked you to help her pick out gifts for her grandkids. And Mrs. B. at the nursing home mentioned she would like to have some new yarn.