Alpha Protocol: To Spy or Not to Spy?

Ah the RPG! One of the most addicting things in video games since Donkey Kong met Mario the RPG genre has become the fuel of many late night quests into the dragon's lair. RPG's have taken us into forbidden realms of magic and even into the far reaches of space but never before has an RPG tried to worm it's way through the world of espionage. Well welcome to the world of Alpha Protocol a game that promises us a seamless blend of RPG and the world of international spies. So can these two worlds truly unite? Can they blend like strawberries and lemonade? Starsky and hutch? Obama and dissatisfied Americans? The answer? Ish.

Story: Alpha Protocol drops you into the semi swarthy hands of Michael Thorton a Bondish typed super agent investigating a missile attack in (where else) Saudi Arabia (I feel like Saudi Arabia is way over used in Video Games. Just once I want to see Swedish terrorists stirring up trouble. Sweeds get off easy just cause we like their chocolates but I've never been able to trust a pacifist country that mass produces knives... anyway though...). Michael finds himself dropped into a whole world full of potential allies, enemies, and strange accents as he tries to uncover the truth behind the missiles. Alpha Protocols scope and decision making are tremendous. Each decision you make has far reaching decisions and very few RPG's out there will allow you to alter the story as much as Alpha Protocol does. Branching conversations give you the chance to change opinions and larger choices constantly test your budding Bond as you try and determine who you want to side with.

Unfortunately, for all of Alpha Protocols sweeping scope it misses one essential story point... Michael. Frankly when you reach the end of the game you could really care less about Michael. The developers got the story aspects right but didn't really put any heart into the game. In fact thanks to some weak gameplay (more on this later) you kind of hate Michael at the end of the game. Speaking of the end of the game I don't know whether the studio ran out of time or what but the ending is supremely rushed. It's like ending Star Wars right when Luke is about to die and having Yoda walk on and say "Killed the Emperor Luke did. Than danced with Ewoks and saw floaty blue people he did... Tripping he was." It's genuinely confusing that after so much build up the game just sort of... ends. Like your fling with that hot cheerleader in High School the game has an incredibly intriguing beginning but is really just using you to get to the Quarterback... I mean doesn't deliver in the end.

The Visuals: Visually Alpha Protocol is a train wreck... well okay maybe train wreck is a bit harsh. It's really more of a Two Door Chevy Coup wreck. It's not that the game looks bad but it definitely doesn't look good either. Environments are generic, textures and lighting are bland, and some more complicated textures literally take ten or twelve seconds just to appear. The camera tends to freak out at just the wrong time and certain spy superpowers literally blind you to what is going on around you. The visuals don't necessarily kill the game but they definitely take a well aimed sledge hammer to it's knee caps.

The Gameplay: If the visuals are a two door chevy coup wreck than the gameplay is a hummer and a hummer colliding head on with rabbits strapped to their grills. No for real... it's that bad. First off let's talk about crouching and Michael. I don't know what the folks who made this game think crouching looks like... but it's not in this game. Michael doesn't crouch so much as he stumbles. All game... like the whole entire game. I seriously thought I could eventually level up to be better at crouching at the beginning. It's like what a spy strung out would do when he crouched. And even that is an insult to strung out people everywhere.

Pistols are practically worthless, as is the games AI, and even the things that do work don't work that well. For instance if you choose to specialize in stealth you can eventually become entirely invisible and literally walk straight up to enemies and kill them. That may sound fun but there is little to no satisfaction or challenge to it. My advice for those who must play the game is to specialize in machine guns and just pound away. The camera manages to be a constant problem, the cover system struggles to pull it's weight, and the union between reticle targeting and an RPG dice roll system goes about as well as Lindsay Lohan's parole.

In the end Alpha Protocol was a good idea with a great great story. Unfortunately a lack of true heart, bad visuals, and a broken combat system constantly pull you out of the story. Honestly Alpha feels a lot like a movie tie in game in that it just doesn't feel... finished. The shooting mechanics don't work, the end of the game is rushed, and the visuals need polishing. If your a hardcore RPG fan you can probably make it through Alpha if you focus on the story. Other gamers would be better of going for RPG's like Dragon Age or Mass Effect 2 which have both great stories and practically flawless gameplay. In the end this mission was a failure.